Illicit Edifyings

2011-09-09T14:54:00.002+05:30

not mine to share

2011-04-24T01:20:00.000+05:30

Kurachu naalayi it was getting harder and harder to blog.... Personal aayi comments onnum parayan pattatha oru avasdha... Manasu pazhayathu pole vikarangale vilichu parayunnilla... Swantham rahasyangalil pukayunnilla... Maravippalla... Virakthiyumalla... I am always excited... Worried.. Sad...happy... Content... My mind is full of thoughts but seldom are they mine. And they are never my secrets to share.. But they dont suffocate me.. Both insignificant and important they are.... My elixr of life.

Globalisation and Kerala Agriculture

2011-01-30T11:39:00.001+05:30

All rights are reserved to THE GREEN FLAME (that would be me), i.e, ask before copying.

Kerala situation is different from other states of India or even the global scenario with regard to developmental sectors. The Kerala model is characterised by high life quality indices even at low GDP, this was made possible by deliberate strategies taken by the communist government in the development of Agriculture, Industry and service sectors of Kerala. The literacy status and impact education system on developmental sectors is also immense especially introduction of innovations and new technology. Kerala society is well educated and aware critically analysing each changes in science, technology and politics. There is a well decentralised and democratic government system, good public distribution system and strong local self governance and timely and unbiased elections and responsive voters.

The agriculture scenario of Kerala is also special. For one thing Kerala is blessed with diverse Climatic conditions and relief/ elevation in the small piece of land making it possible to grow a wide range of crop plants. The westernghat region of Kerala is a biological hotspot for genetic diversity of a number of plants. The cropping system prevalent in Kerala is homestead agriculture where the farmer has a piece of land in which his house hold crop field, livestock etc are integrated in a system approach. The land holdings are comparatively small, as a result of bhooparishkaranam by 1st ems government which despite of its disadvantages brought about equality among the people and justice to those once discriminated by religion and cast. Also today most of the cultivators are part-time farmers and diverse crops including a major chunk of tree crops are cultivated.

40% of land is under plantation crops and in this 20% of this in households. Since major cropping system is homestead system there is direct impact of policies in the households and farming community. The land use and cropping pattern is peculiar and responsive to tradable commodities and directly affected by the global prices. The effect of globalisation and liberalisation was different for different regions, different crops and different classes of society and in different time periods. In General Globalisation followed by Liberalisation and De-regularisation brought about two major changes in Kerala Agriculture 1. We were unable to attain food security and 2. There was a decline in price of the plantation crops / cash crops.

Food Insecurity

Reasons:

In general:-

1. Paddy cultivation was not remunerative to the farmer
a. Lack of own land
b. Lack of agricultural credit
c. Low price in the market
d. Low productivity
i. Lack of HYV
ii. Poor management
iii. Cultivation practices not compatible to the environmental conditions
e. High cost of inputs
i. Ill effects of green revolution
ii. Unscientific use of chemical fertilizers and plant protection chemicals
iii. Deterioration of Soil and water bodies
f. Labour intensive cultivation
i. Unavailability of skilled labourers
ii. High wages
g. Pest and disease incidence
i. Lack of resistant varieties
ii. Unavailability of new variety - knowledge and seeds to farmers
h. Difficulty of weed management
i. System of leaving fallow after kharif crop or in summer season
ii. Introduced weeds
iii. Speciality of rice ecosystem and problem of chemical application
i. Difficulty in mechanisation
i. Low capital availability
ii. Small land holdings
iii. Unavailability of technology
iv. Unavailability of machines
v. Unavailability of skill
j. Lack of technology and its implementation
i. Unavailability of good quality HYV seeds
ii. Lack of knowledge of new practices like single seedling method

2. Loss of paddy fields
a. Reclamation for buildings
b. Converted to garden lands
c. Unscientific and non ecofriendly practices

3. Reluctance of young generation to take up agriculture as a profession

Impact of globalisation and new development policy:-

1. Government was forced to walk off development sector
a. Subsidies insufficient
b. Exploitation of private input companies
c. Exploitation by middle men in marketing
d. Loss of good market
e. Low support price
f. Post harvest losses
g. Poor public distribution
h. Decrease in risk bearing capacity of farmer

Other contributors:

1. Reluctance for investment in agriculture sector

2. Lack of initiative and involvement from
a. Government
b. Scientific community
c. Common people/Farmers and other stake holders

3. Hidden interest of monopolies in the possession of Kerala agriculture and land, genetic resources

4. Changing governments

5. Social mayhem
a. Liquor
b. Mafias and Quotation teams
c. Attacks towards women
Goals:

Ideally in order to achieve complete justice

1. the land should be completely brought under the ownership of government
2. the farmers should be given a fixed and reasonable wages for his contribution in the production

Steps towards it:

1. The dignity of agriculture as a profession should be upheld
2. Everyone should become a part-time agriculturalist
a. Kitchen gardens
b. Terrace cultivation
c. Homestead cultivation
3. Scientific innovation
a. High yielding, disease and pest resistant, Tolerant to abiotic stress varieties
b. GM crops which have better nutritional quality
c. Better machinery
d. Better cultivation practices
e. Organic cultivation
f. Integrated pest, disease, weed management
4. Involvement of Public sector
a. take up distribution of certified seeds
b. Assure credit availability
c. make machinery available for farmers
d. Collect harvest from farmers
e. Give good price to farmers
f. Processing
g. Value addition
h. Proper storage
i. Packing
j. Marketing
k. Export
5. Government policies
a. Empowerment of landless, poor and marginal farmers
b. Subsidising farming sector
c. Support price
d. Margin free markets
e. Crop insurance
f. Recognition to farmers
g. Empowerment of cooperatives
i. In Seed, fertilizer, plant protection chemicals production
ii. In agricultural credit
iii. In post harvest technology
iv. In marketing

Decline in price of the plantation crops / cash crops

Reasons:

In general:-

1. Low quality of planting material
2. Poor management practices
3. Lack of mechanisation
4. High labour cost
5. Lack of proper processing and marketing facility for the produce
6. Lack of knowledge on new technologies

Impact of globalisation and new development policy:-

FTA and Incompetence of our produce in global market

By Free Trade Agreement (FTA) the concept of domestic market is replaced by global market and the produce from other countries and being accumulated in our markets without regulations or tariff. Other countries like America give high rates of subsidies for agriculture and use new technologies and are able to produce large quantities of produce and able to sell at lower prices. On the other hand our government is forced out of production sector, subsidies are removed, funding for domestic research are not sufficient and our technologies not up to the mark or unavailable to the farming community.

Goals and Steps:

1. Agricultural Innovations
a. Development of new varieties
i. High yielding
ii. Disease and pest resistant
iii. Tolerant to climate change
iv. Fertilizer responsive
v. Higher nutritional status
vi. Better quality
vii. Better keeping quality
b. Removal of senile palms and re-plantation
c. Proper training and pruning practices
d. Better agronomic practices
e. Judicious application of fertilizers and plant protection chemicals

2. Government Involvement

a. Distribution of quality planting material
b. Provide agricultural credit
c. Start processing units in public sector
d. Strengthen domestic market
e. Subsidy
f. Market stabilization
g. Fix minimum support price
h. Facility to collect and store farmers produce
i. Ware house facilities
j. Processing, value addition and export

Role of Education

h. Include agriculture in school curriculum
i. Revise curriculum and critically analyse contribution of KAU
j. Improvement extension

What KAU can do?

KAU, Kerala Agriculture University can have a leading position in the changes being made and to be made in Kerala agriculture sector. The mandate of KAU itself is Teaching, Research and Extension. The problem KAU is facing at the time being is essentially lack of resources eg. Sufficient fund for research. The Agriculture graduates are often un-employed or under employed even though they are valuable keys to agricultural improvement as technical and extension personals.

Plant Breading and Genetics is the key to Sustainable Agriculture

2010-11-25T20:57:00.004+05:30

Concept 1. NUE+BMP=SA

(to be continued...)

Win Win!!

2010-10-29T19:22:00.000+05:30

Innu classil ninnum irangi poyi.... Veendum. Colleginte ooro koninum ente kannuneer ariyam.. Parathikalum paribhavangalum ariyam.... Athinte anurananangal ente chevikalil irambukayayirunnu.. Sahikan vayyathe pursum phonum mathramayi irangi... Busstopil irunnu aalochichu... Entha?? Engotta?? Manasamadhanam vikunna chanthakalude parasyam pathrathilum tviyilum fmilum onnum illayirunnu.. Oduvil busil kayari last stopinu ticket eduthu.. Manasil irambiya pattinte varikal moolikondirunnu... Aarum parichayakar illallo pinne entha...
Road divideril ninnu chuttum nokki.. Thirakil paayum vandikal.. Makkale skulil ninnu vilichu veetileku pokunna rakshithakal, jolithirakukalude noolamalayumayi madangunnavar, train samayathu kittumo enna pediyode pokunnavar, hospitalileku paayunnavar, kalyanam kudi madangunna sahridayar, puthuthayi piranna kunjine kanan pokunna chilar, maranam kanan anushochikan utharavadithwabodhathode kurachuper.. Oppam kodikalum mudravakyangalumayi election vijayam bhranthamayi aakhoshikuna anikal....
Ennathayum pole thirichu kodukendathum, cheythu therkendathumaya ithiri jolikal.... Kathile kammal,kayyile vala, mudi othukiya slide,.. Sadharanayileku alinju cheran kadam kondava.. Kayyile kuripukal, cheythu theerka baki vechathu, suhirthinu iasinu padhikan vivarangal anveshikal, college magazininayi photokal edukal, sports meetinte chargukal, artsinte practice followup, a b bijesh dinathinu 'granma'(notice board)il idan matter edukal,.. Pinne oru arikil innu fmil kettu padhicha german vaakukal..notukalum recordukalum ente mathram aavasyamanu, athu pole alla baki onnum , even innu vangi thannu vitta puthiya recordil kuttukaranu padangal varachu kodukanam.
Innathe tharka vishayangal orthu, sportso, artso, uniono, unito onnum allarunnu,.. North india tour... Njan pokunnilla. Pediyanennu thonnunnu, ayirikanam.. Chilapol jeevithathinu oru puthiya thrill undakiyathakum.. Engane aayirikum ennu aalochikan sramichu.. Kadhakal kelkunnathum, photokal kanunnathum.. Send offinu ithoke kelkallo..

Achan vaathorathe samsarikunnu, valiya valiya karyangal... Kouthukam unarthunna karyangal, pakshe enne orittu sradhichilla... Ente comments, samshayangal ellam ennil thanne othungi.. Ammayodanu achan samsarikunnathu.. Adyam adyam vishayangal mari thirinju vannappo ammayude mukham onnu chulinju, pakshe ammakariyam appo athu paranjal achanu deshyam varum ennu.. Amma mindiyilla... Asooya thonni....

Mailanji vangi,... Ente kayyil venda baki ullavarku ittu kodukanam, chanthu vangi,.. Pottu kuthanalla..Athu swardhamaya oru kunju aagraham, eniku athinte manam ishtamanu...chocolate vangi koumarathinte chapalyathil enno oralpam istam thonniya ayalkum koduthu, kunjuvavayude viseshangal anveshikunnathinoppam, innum randara masamayi ingottu vannittu enne kaananda alle ennu kusurthiyode chodichappol ente mukham chuvannirunnu, ammayodu athmardhamayi eniku kalyanam kazhichu tharumo ennu chodichathorthu swayam chirichu...oru win win lottary ticket, narukeduppu ippo thernnukanum, oru lakshyavum illathe busil irikumbol oral konduvannathanu, entho oru vattinu vangi, chancinu vittukodukan manasil ithavana chodyangal illarunnu, enthinu kurakunnu, jeevitham thanne panthayam vechu, njan jeevichirunnittu enthenkilum ardham undenkil ee bhagyakuri eniku adikum full prize money...

Novukal Ellam Poovukal Ennu......

2010-10-22T14:38:00.011+05:30

"നീയറിഞ്ഞോ നമ്മുടെ മയില്‍‌പീലി പെറ്റു 101 കുഞ്ഞുങ്ങള്‍".. നിഷ്കളങ്കമായ കവിതകള്‍ എന്ന് ഞാന്‍ കരുതിയിരുന്നു .. എന്റെ ignorance...

പൊട്ടിയ കുപ്പിവള പൊട്ട്, മുറിഞ്ഞ ഒരു ഞെരമ്പ് ആണ് എന്ന് പറഞ്ഞപ്പോള്‍ എന്തെന്ന് കൌതുകപെട്ടു.. നമ്മള്‍ വെള്ളം കോരിയ നീര്‍മാതളം പട്ടുപോയതും ലളിതമായ ഒരു സത്യം മാത്രമായി തോന്നി.

ജീവിതം ലളിതമായ സത്യങ്ങളുടെ സങ്കീര്‍ണതയല്ലേ എന്ന് പിന്നിട് ഒരികല്‍ ചോദിച്ചു. അതിനെ കൂട്ടി കുരുകാതെ പറയാന്‍, മനസിലാക്കാന്‍ അദ്ദേഹത്തിന് കഴിഞ്ഞല്ലോ.

കടലാസു തത്തകള്‍ കീറിപോയപ്പോള്‍, ഒരേ മണ്ണില്‍ തീര്‍ത്ത നമ്മുടെ പട്ടങ്ങളും വഴി മാറി പറന്നപ്പോള്‍, ശിഥിലമായ സ്വപ്നങ്ങളുടെ മുന്നില്‍ പകച്ചു നിന്നപ്പോള്‍ കവിത സാന്ത്വനം ആയിരുന്നു..

ഔസ്യത്തില്‍ എഴുതി വെകതിരുന്ന രഹസ്യം, നിര്‍ദേശം.. എന്റെ ഹൃദയത്തിന്റെ സ്ഥാനത്തുള്ള പൂവിനെ മണ്ണ് മൂടും മുന്‍പ് പറിച്ചു വേകാന്‍..ജിക്ജാസയുടെ ദിവസങ്ങളില്‍ പ്രേമത്തിന്റെ ആത്മതത്വം പറഞ്ഞു തന്നവളുടെ ഉപഹാരം..

ആ പൂവിലൂടെ എനിക്ക് തിരിച്ചു പോകണം... എന്ന് പറഞ്ഞപോള്‍, ആ എളിമ എന്നെ വിസ്മരിപിച്ചു, എങ്ങനെ ഇഹലോകം വിട്ട് ഇല്ലയ്മയിലെക് മടങ്ങും, ആയിരം മനസുകളില്‍ പൂ വിരിയിചില്ലേ താങ്കള്‍??

എന്നിട്ടും.. മദ്യത്തിനു അടിപെട്ടു.. ഒന്നുമല്ലാതെ.. ഒരു അനാഥ ശവമായി.. റോഡ്‌ അരികില്‍... ആരും തിരിച്ചറിയാതെ...

മരണത്തിനു തൊട്ടു മുന്‍പുള്ള നിമിഷം ഈ സത്യം പറയാന്‍ സമയമില്ല.. പറഞ്ഞത് അറം പറ്റി...കഴിയാതെ പോയല്ലോ.. ഒഴിച്ച് തന്ന തണുത്ത വെള്ളത്തിലൂടെ അത് മൃതിയിലെക് ഒലിച്ചു പോകും എന്ന് പാടിയിട്ട്...

ധൂര്‍ത്തടികപെട്ട ജീവിതം.. ജീവിതത്തെ ചതിച്ചില്ലേ?? എന്നെ ചതിച്ചില്ലേ?? ഈ ലോകത്തെ മുഖം മൂടികളെ ഭയന്ന് നിന്നപ്പോള്‍ കവിതയിലൂടെ എന്നിലേക് ഒഴുകിയ സന്ദ്വാനം ഇന്ന് ഒരു ഞെട്ടലോടെ നിന്നിരിക്കുന്നു.

എല്ലാവരെയും പോലെ താങ്കളും എന്നെ ചതിച്ചു.. എന്റെ മുതുകിലാണ് മുറിവ് ഞാന്‍ പരിച തെറിച്ചു പോയ പരാജിതന്‍ എന്ന് ചൊല്ലി എന്ന്റെ സഹാനുഭൂതി പിടിച്ചു വെച്ചിട്ട് ?? നിങ്ങളോട് ചെയ്തപോലെ എന്നെയും പിന്നില്‍ നിന്നും വിഷം പുരട്ടിയ വാളുകൊണ്ട് വെട്ടിയോ??

പുലര്‍ച്ചയ്ക് ശില്പിയുടെ കിടകയില്‍ ഒരു വെള്ളതൂവലും ഒരു ചോര തൂവലും കണിയാകും എന്ന് പറഞ്ഞതെന്തിനു?? ഉയരങ്ങളില്‍ കൊത്തിയിട്ടിട്ടും ആ പ്രണയ ലേഖനം ഞാന്‍ കണ്ടിരുന്നു എന്ന് ഉറകെ പറയാന് ‍കൊതിച്ചു, ഹൃദയത്തില്‍ ചെകേറിയ ആ പ്രാവ് ഒറ്റയ്ക്ക് അല്ലെന്നു  ഉറപ്പു തരാന്‍ കൊതിച്ചു.. പക്ഷെ എടുത്തു ചാട്ടം, അറിവില്ലായ്മ, തെറ്റ്; മനസുതന്നെ എന്നെ നിയന്ത്രിച്ചു.

അറിയാം എന്ന് കരുതിയതെല്ലാം അറിവില്ലായ്മ മാത്രം; ജീവിതം ആണയിട്ടു പറഞ്ഞു..

കണ്ടിരുന്ന വെളിച്ചം ഇന്ന് ലോകത്തിന്റെ കണ്ണുകളില്‍ നിറഞ്ഞ ക്രിത്രിമതയുടെ വജ്രകല്ലുകളിലെ മങ്ങലായി.

ചിലപ്പോള്‍...... ജീവിതത്തില്‍ തങ്ങളുടെ ദൌത്യം വിജയികുക അല്ലായിരുന്നിരിക്കാം... മറ്റാരെയോ..... മരണത്തിന്റെ വക്കില്‍ നിന്നും, അഭിനയതക്കളെ കൊണ്ട് നിറഞ്ഞ ഈ കയത്തില്‍ നിന്നും ശ്വാസം മുട്ടി മരിക്കും മുന്‍പേ കൈപിടിച്ചുയര്‍ത്താന്‍, കവിതയിലൂടെ ജീവശ്വാസം നല്‍കി വിജയത്തിലേക് കൈപിടിച്ച് നയിക്കാന്‍  അവതരിച്ചതാണോ?? .

അതില്‍ വിജയിച്ചോ??? സ്വയം മാതൃക ആയില്ലെങ്കിലും, വാകുകളാല്‍ തീര്‍ത്ത ഒരു മിഥ്യ സങ്ങല്പിക മൂര്‍ത്തിയായി  മുന്നില്‍ നിന്നു, ജീവിതത്തോടും കമ്മ്യൂണിസതോടും  ഉള്ള കടപ്പാട് വീട്ടിയിരുന്നുവോ?? ....

ഇനി എന്റെ ചങ്ങാതികള്‍ മരിച്ചവരാണ്‌ ... ഇവിടെ വിട്ടിട്ടു പോയ ഞങ്ങളുടെ ചങ്ങാതി,... ഇനി വാകുകളില്‍... ഓര്‍മ്മകള്‍ കുറച്ചു കൂടി നല്ലതാക്കംയിരുനു എന്ന് ചെറു ചിനുകത്തോടെ മനസ് പരാതിപെടുന്നു.

ലോകത്തെ, പുകമറകള്‍ ഇല്ലാതെ കണ്ടപ്പോള്‍ അത് മനസിന്‌ താങ്ങാന്‍ ആവില്ലെന്ന് ഭയന്നിരിക്കണം. ലഹരിയുടെ സഹായത്തോടെ സാധാരണകാരനായി തീരാന്‍ ശ്രമിചിരിക്കണം.

ആത്മഹത്യാ എനിക്ക് ഇഷ്ടമല്ലെന്നു പറഞ്ഞിട്ടും സ്വയം മരണത്തിനു വിട്ട് കൊടുകുമ്പോള്‍ മനസ്സില്‍ ഭയമായിരുന്നു എന്ന് കരുതാന്‍ എനിക്ക് വയ്യ ... എന്റെ ഹൃദയത്തിലെ പൂവ് കരിഞ്ഞു പോകുന്നു.,..

നോവുകള്‍ എല്ലാം പൂവുകള്‍ എന്ന്.. എന്നോ പറഞ്ഞത് ഓര്‍ത്തു നിന്നു.. പക്ഷെ മനസിലെ താളുകളില്‍ എത്ര പരതീട്ടും, ആ വാക്കുകള്‍ തന്‍ ബാക്കി കിട്ടിയില്ല...

Who Named Mouse, Mouse??

2010-10-16T19:10:00.002+05:30

At least some of you may be familiar with the joke where when kinder garden students were asked the sound of mouse they answered in chorus 'Click'... Anyhow all idiots reading this are certainly all too familiar with the most handy ‘two buttons and a scroll wheel’ wired pointing device you click more than a cent times a day. Ever wondered who named mouse, mouse???? After a bit of browsing about the virtual globe I come up with a not so satisfactory answer with which I have to be convinced.

Of course first the baby has to be born to name it… So where and when was mouse born?? Of course the ancient ancestors’ abacus or Antikythera mechanism, not even the analytical engine or ENIAC had a mouse right?? Literature says the first marketed integrated mouse shipped in 1970 by the German company Telefunken as a part of the SIG-100 console for the Telefunken TR440 computer. It has been published in a magazine, two months before Douglas Engelbart introduced his model. That’s no surprise… I mean it was along with the micro processors or rather Intel processors (Intel 4004 – first complete CPU on 1 chip) and out about 10 years before personal computers or home computers took over. And if you think about it Mouse must have been introduced along with windows operating systems, at least something close to that.. Dos operating system used only typed in commands only correct?? The years don’t add up though. MS DOS came around 1981 and Windows versions from 1985... Mouse was invented long before that. May be it was not used so much before windows I would assume.

The name mouse originated at the Stanford Research Institute. Engelbart shared credit for the name with 'a small group in my lab at SRI.' Nobody among his colleagues seems to remember who first nicknamed the device, but all agree that the name was given because the cord ('tail') initially came out the 'back' of the device. 'Very soon we realized that the connecting wire should be brought out the "front" instead of the back,' Engelbart notes, but by then the name had stuck." And interestingly The Microsoft(R) Manual of Style for Technical Publications (ed. Amanda Clark, Microsoft Press, 1995, ISBN 1-55615-939-0) says: "Avoid using the plural mice; if you need to refer to more than one mouse, use mouse devices." That’s more of a grammar class, anyhow makes sense since the term mice reminds of the furry creature with tangling tails more than the polished handy accessory.

Besides I would imagine with the new generation of cordless mouses the reference of the name is no more and I don’t even use mouse anymore, though due to familiarity it more handy, I find it difficult to connect the mouse along with the photon, data chord, pen drive etc in the lap, man I need more ports. Anyhow touch screen mobile, touch screen ATMs... Well touch pad will take over completely soon if it already haven’t, and mice will once again be found only in garbage. Anyhow the sense of touch was known and cherished long before the digital era. And Personally I think touch is not given as much consideration as the other four senses, which simple isn't fair. While you’re other four senses (sight, hearing, smell, and taste) are located in specific parts of the body, your sense of touch is found all over. Imagine how boundless the pleasure it grant. Which is by the by way off our topic :-P!!

Cheeky Idol - I would say........

2010-10-09T20:17:00.001+05:30

Doubt reigned in the celestial councils. Should they kill them(Primeval man,with 4legs and 4 hands, whose might and strenghth the gods feared) and annihilate the race with thunderbolts, as they had done the giants, then there would be an end of the sacrifices and worship which men offered to them; but, on the other hand, the gods could not suffer their insolence to be unrestrained. At last, after a good deal of reflection, Zeus discovered a way. He said: 'I have a plan which will humble their pride and improve their manners; men shall continue to exist, but I will cut them in two and then they will be diminished in strength and increased in numbers; this will have the advantage of making them more profitable to us. They shall walk upright on two legs, and if they continue insolent and will not be quiet, I will split them again and they shall hop about on a single leg.'
(Aristophanes, Plato’s Symposium)

And the Lord God said, "The man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever."
(Genesis 3:22)

Before I am killed,...

2010-10-01T22:19:00.013+05:30

Sometimes things I don’t anticipate even in my dreams to take place happen to be expected from me by my close ones. I often end up wondering whether I know myself at all!! Once it was me slapping someone across their cheek as a reflex, and then it was me nominating my own name for a post at college. Both times it just happened and I was shocked at myself but my family especially my sister asked me if this is what happened before I even told them!! Man that’s creepy... Furthermore I who had gone to them to repent my actions ended up standing up for myself explaining frantically instead. Then I had a revelation… I don’t see myself as well as these people do, and maybe I didn’t do anything so bad if they had anticipated it after all. Still that didn’t explain my egocentric and repulsive behavior and inability to face criticism to the face.

I was lost... I thought I knew myself so well but ended up finding out I was wrong big time. Not only did I start to seeing myself as a self centered bitch who overestimate ones self and have superiority complex, I started being envious of others and jealous towards talents. I mean, I have never been so depressed at seeing others, they all seemed better than me in so many ways. I can’t even appreciate anything, I am simply jealous. Stupid it was but my ‘wisdom’ came to the conclusion that I can welcome whatever thing to any further extent only if I think I can do better; and so I had no choice but to be the best, at 'everything' was the initial concept but the impossible nature of it was frustrating so I settled for 'something'. What? Was the next question... In search of new insight I lost my path (once again)…

And on the trail somewhere I got so obsessed with campus politics. Again something I never even dreamt of but as it came to being, was expected of me. Again the course of dreams, disappointment, frustration, breaking down, suicidal tendencies, resurrection, adjustments, revelations, dreams… well the cycle went off a number too many times…

Then one day at the stage of suicidal tendencies I found 'myself'…. An idea that sustained my life “Life is not limited to the four walls of my campus.” It was truly a relief, someone who knows ‘my’ campus will know, I would think. For a moment I found a balance. The reason for my frustration in the field was its deviation from the ideal curve. The pathetic deviation campus politics, especially that in ‘my’ campus took from the original ideologies. I couldn’t be what I wanted to be. I couldn’t stand up for what I believed. And I was starting to think “the adjustments and choices I made for what seemed the wellbeing of the existing system and the people involved, to whom I was attached at several levels of emotion and devotion were the core reasons for half the problems.” I was starting to be the opposite of what I wanted to be, and exactly the person I despised. I had had enough… and I had one of the greatest resurrections…

Last day a friend commented how many knows Comrade Varghese in your campus. To my shock I realized so many things I had forgotten in between all the adjustments. My morals…

I was recovering… but again my friends shattered my will many a time… I had a breakdown at the council meeting. Ended up poiting and shouting at the dean… Broke into tears in the face of accusation.. lost total control.. I shattered my glass bangles on the desk and ran home. My parents knew better than to ask questions that was the beauty of their support to me, but it was heart shattering. I had to reorganize my priorities. Oru mothamaya azhichupani.

Another weird phenomenon in my life is that things seem to happen around me for my sake. I can’t explain it. I often see people who call themselves believers swore at god and cry to him “Why me”.. But I who never could believe had amusing experiences. It’s as if, if god did exist he wanted me to succeed in some mysterious way. I wondered once whether I should see this as a sign many talk about and start believing. But that would make me someone I am not!!! It’s as said in Alchemist: When you want something it’s as if the whole world conspires to help you.

So the universe was with me… I only had to deicide my goal and most importantly my path. The problem was that the internal cycle of emotional extremes and shattered me, ate me up from inside. …my family, the politics they left for me…..

“Thadavaraykullil thudayellu potti,

Thakarunna neramen achan,

Karuthivechu,

Kunju thalamuraykay..

Oru dheera swathanthrya swapnam,

Makane ninakee swapnam..”

I was wrong to compare today with the era of my parents, I was wrong to think the campuses were the same,.. time has changed, situations had changes and the revolution had changed.. And I shouldn’t think low of myself, I am after all in a positon to decide the course of change,.. not alone but I had a role to play, if not I should make way for that. I had forgotten too much, too soon…. The poems, the visions, the red stars, Comrades of Kuthuparambu, Maa, Comrade Vargheese who said ‘Before I am killed, give me a signal so I can shout a slogan’… Campus politics has gone bad up and down. Today the only people who live in campus politics is the martyrs.I have to change it.. I have to revive the campus. At least try to… And that is possible only if literature and culture come back to campuses.

I even wonder isn't this wrong for me to quote visionaries with my personal idiotic thoughts?? It is.. Very... But I can't be that bad, right?? Oh crap. Whats the meaning of saying nothing anyway. The only thing that matter is that I go forward for what is right. The path I take should reflect my views of right.. and If I have to believe I am the chosen one born the change the world, hell I am more than pleased to do so.

The great Bertolt Beecht once said “Because things are the way they are, things will not be the way they are.”

I can’t give up now, can I?? Greater than these words of che’s shining eyes that lokked over me everytime I passed the corridors of ‘the red fort of SFI’ was my dear friends words that night as we layed there “If anyone can its you Jennie, and don’t just leave your studies behind, ellam onnichu kondupokan ninaku pattum…” I miss you so much.

Ottaykirunnu Oonjal Adiya Aankutty

2010-09-25T19:56:00.004+05:30

പൊട്ടിച്ചിരിക്കുന്ന നെല്കതിരുകളോട് യാത്ര പറഞ്ഞു വരവേ ഉറകംതൂങ്ങി മരത്തിനു കീഴില്‍ ഒറ്റയ്കിരുന്നു ഊഞ്ഞാലാടുന്ന ഒരു ആണ്‍കുട്ടി!! ഓണത്തിന് ശേഷം ഊഞ്ഞാലിന്റെ കയര്‍ ഊരി മാറ്റിയിരുന്നില്ല.. തലേന്ന് അതില്‍ കെട്ടി തൂങ്ങുന്നതിനെ കുറിച്ച് ഞങ്ങള്‍ പറഞ്ഞെ ഉള്ളാരുന്നു ... അത്ഭുതത്തോടെ ചോദ്യം ചെയ്തപ്പോള്‍ എന്റെ സുഹൃത്ത് ഒരു കൂസലും കൂടാതെ പറഞ്ഞു "എനിക്ക് ഊഞ്ഞാല്‍ ആടാന്‍ തോന്നി ഞാന്‍ കമ്പ് വെട്ടി തനിയെ കെട്ടി ആടി".... എനികറിയില്ല എന്നതാ പറയണ്ടെന്നു.. I admire U. എന്നെന്നും തനിക് ഊഞ്ഞാലില്‍ മാനത്തോളം ഉയര്‍ന്നാടന്‍ പറ്റട്ടെ... ആകാശത്തിന്റെ നീലിമയില്‍ തൊട്ടു ഓളങ്ങള്‍ തീര്കാനും.. പക്ഷികളുടെ സല്ലാപവും ഇലതുംബുകളുടെ രഹസ്യങ്ങളും കേള്കാനും കഴിയട്ടെ .. തന്ടെ സ്വപ്‌നങ്ങള്‍ തന്ടെത് മാത്രമാകതിരികട്ടെ... തന്ടെടത്തോടെ അന്നും അവ സാക്ഷാത്കരികാനും.... എന്‍ടെ ആശംസകള്‍..

Lal Salam

2010-09-22T23:27:00.000+05:30

ഈ രാത്രി ഉറങ്ങി ഉണരട്ടെ
ഇരുട്ടില്‍ കിനാവിനു മധുരമുണ്ട്
തണുപ്പില്‍ അതിന്‍ സ്വരം നനുതതാണ്
പക്ഷെ...
'നാളെ' ഉണരുമ്പോള്‍
സ്വപ്‌നങ്ങള്‍ ശബ്ദങ്ങള്‍.. സത്യത്തിനായി..
ഉണരും.. ഉയരും.. ഉണര്തെനീകും ..

Kayalolangal Enne Vilichu....

2010-09-19T00:40:00.004+05:30

കണ്ണുകള്‍ക് മുന്നില്‍ പളുങ്ങു മണികളില്‍ മഴവില്ലിനെ കാണാന്‍ പഠിച്ചു കഴിഞ്ഞിരുന്നോ? നെല്‍ പാടം പഴമയുടെതായിരുന്നു.. തെങ്ങിന്‍ തടികള്‍ ചേര്‍ത്ത് കെട്ടിയ ഇരിപിടവും അമ്മുമ്മയുടെ കഥകളില്‍ നിന്നെവിടെയോ കീറിയെടുത്ത എടുപോലെ... എങ്കിലും ധരിച്ചിരുന്ന പാന്ടിലും ഷര്‍ട്ട്‌ലും, വിളികാതെ കയറിവന്നു മനസിനെ ചിട്ടപെടുത്തിയ ആധുനികതയെന്ന ചിന്നപെരില്‍ വിളിക്കപെട്ട മാറ്റങ്ങള്‍ ഉണ്ടായിരുന്നു. നൊമ്പരം കഴിഞ്ഞു പോയതിനോടല്ല വരാനിരികുന്നതിനോടും അല്ല.. ഇപ്പോള്‍ ഇന്ന് ഈ നിമിഷം ഇല്ലാതെ പോയതിനോട് ... മുന്നില്‍ ആ കണ്ണുകളുടെ തിളക്കം, ചുറ്റും ആ കൈകളുടെ വിയര്‍പ് , ചെവിയില്‍ ആ വാക്കുകളുടെ കടുപ്പം, ശകാരത്തിന്റെ സ്വരത്തില്‍ എന്നിലേക്ക്‌ ഒഴുകുന്ന യുക്തി..... ഏകാന്തത മനസിലെ കുരുക്കുകള്‍ കടുംകെട്ടാക്കി.... നടക്കുമ്പോള്‍ മനസ്സില്‍ നിറഞ്ഞ സംശയങ്ങളെ കീറിമുറിച്ചുകൊണ്ട്‌ മുന്നില്‍ കായലോഴുകി... നിനക്ക് ലക്ഷ്യമുണ്ടോ? കൂടെ ആരുണ്ട്‌??? പിന്നില്‍ അണികള്‍ ഉണ്ടോ?? ഇത്ര നിശ്ചയ ദര്ധ്യം അഹങ്തയല്ലേ.. അവന്‍ പൊട്ടിച്ചിരിച്ചു!! ഞാന്‍ ഒഴുകുന്നു....എങ്ങോട്റെന്നു എനികരിയില്ല ഇന്ന്.... അത് നാളെയുടെ കാര്യം.... ഇന്ന് ഞാന്‍ ഒഴുകുന്നു, പിന്നില്‍ ഞാന്‍ വന്ന വഴി, മുന്നില്‍ ലോകം ... പൊട്ടിച്ചിരിയുടെ ഇരമ്ബലിനു മീതെ ശബ്ദമുയര്‍ത്തി ചോദിച്ചു കാരണം??? കാരണം, ലക്‌ഷ്യം എന്നാ മിഥ്യയെ പ്രകീര്തികുന്ന നീ പോലും എന്നെ കാമിക്കുന്നു.... ഒരു കള്ള ചിരി.... അല്പം മുന്നിലേക്ക്‌ ഒഴുകി.. തിരിഞ്ഞു നോകാതെ തന്നെ ആ കുസുര്‍ത്തി ഞാന്‍ അറിയുന്നുണ്ടായിരുന്നു..ഓളങ്ങള്‍, കായലോളങ്ങള്‍ എന്നെ മാടി വിളിച്ചു.. കാറ്റ് ഭൌതികതയെ അങ്ങോട്ടുലച്ചു , കൂടുതല്‍ എന്തിന്.... സ്വരത്തിലെ കാഠിന്യം എന്നെ കരയികില്ല, നോട്ടത്തിലെ രൌദ്രം എന്നെ ദുഖിപികില്ല... ചുറ്റും ആ കൈകള്‍ ഉണ്ട്.. എന്റെ കൈകള്‍ മുറുക്കി പിടിച്ചിട്ടുണ്ട്...

2010-07-23T17:43:00.035+05:30

ഞാന്‍ സ്നേഹിച്ചിരുന്ന എന്തൊക്കെയോ.. കൊതിച്ചിരുന്ന... സന്തോഷം കണ്ടെത്തിയിരുന്ന എന്തൊക്കെയോ... നഷ്ടപെട്ടു എന്ന് തോന്നി.. എല്ലാം അവസനിപികാനും.. പക്ഷെ... വീണ്ടും എന്നെ ജീവിതത്തിലേക് തിരിച്ചു കൊണ്ടുവരികയാണ് കാലം... എന്തിലോക്കെയോ ഭ്രമിപിച്ച്. എപ്പോഴും ഇതുതന്നെയായിരുന്നു പ്രശ്നം. എനിക്ക് പരിഭവിക്കാന്‍ പരാജയം സമ്മതിക്കാന്‍ ഒത്തിരികാര്യങ്ങള്‍ തന്നത് എന്റെതനെന്നുള്ള ഈ തോന്നല്‍ തന്നെയാണ്. എന്റെതെന്നാല്‍ എന്റേത് മാത്രമാകണം എന്ന ആഗ്രഹം.. . ജീവിതത്തെ നിര്‍വചിക്കാനോ അതിന്റെ അര്‍ദ്ധമോ ലക്ഷ്യമോ കണ്ടെത്താനോ ആകില്ല എന്ന ലളിതമായ നിഗമനത്തില്‍ ജീവിതം അവസനിപികാന്‍ തീരുമാനിച്ച ഞാന്‍ വേണ്ടും ഉയര്തെഴുന്നെല്കുന്നത് ലൌകിക സുഖങ്ങളുടെ വലയില്‍ കുരുങ്ങിയാണ്.

ഇന്നലെ ഒരു കവിത വായിച്ചു ജനനം സ്വാഭാവികം ജീവിതം നിര്‍ണായകം മരണം ശാന്തം. 'നിര്‍ണായകം' എന്നാ വാക്ക് എന്നെ അതിയായി ആകര്‍ഷിച്ചു.. ഇത്രയും നാള്‍ കണ്ണുനീരിനാല്‍ മങ്ങിയ വീക്ഷണത്തില്‍ മരണത്തിന്റെ ശാന്തതയെ പ്രണയിച്ച എന്നെ എങ്ങനെ അതിനു ആകര്ഷികനകുന്നു??. മരിക്കും എന്നാ വസ്തുതയില്‍ ഞാന്‍ കണ്ടെത്തിയിരുന്ന സന്തോഷത്തില്‍ ഏറെയായി ജീവികുന്നതിലെ എരിവും പുളിയും ഞാന്‍ കൊതിക്കുന്നു എന്ന് ഒരു തോന്നല്‍.

Unlimitted എന്ന് പരസ്യപെടുത്തി sms ഒഫ്ഫെരിനു ലിമിറ്റ് വെച്ച mobile connectione തോല്പിക്കാന്‍ ഇന്നലെ ഞാന്‍ ഒരു message അയച്ചിരുന്നു .

"What did you lose that you cry about? What did you bring that you have lost? What did you produce that you think got destroyed? You did not bring anything. What ever you have you recieved from here. What ever you have given you have given only here. Whatever you took you took from here. What ever you gave you gave here. You came empty handed you will leave empty handed. What is yours today belonged to someone else yesterday, and will belong to someone else the day after tomorrow. You are mistakenly enjoyed the thought that this is yours. It is this false happiness that is the cause of your sorrows. Change is the law of universe. What you think as death is indeed. In one instance you can be a millionaire, and in the other instance you can be steeped in poverty. Yours and mine, big and small erase the ideas from your mind. Them everything is yours and you belong to everyone."

പക്ഷെ നഷ്ടമായി എന്നാ ദുഖമാണോ അതോ എന്റെതായി ഒന്നും ഇല്ല എന്നാ തോന്നലാണോ മോര്‍ depressing ???

നിരീക്ഷണങ്ങളും പരീക്ഷണങ്ങളും അവലോകനങ്ങളും ഹൈപോതെസിസുകളും അല്ലെ എന്റെ ജീവിതത്തെ ഇത്രകണ്ട് മടുപികുന്നത്?? പക്ഷെ അവയെ ഉന്മൂലനം ചെയ്താല്‍ ഞാന്‍ എന്നാ സ്വത്വത്തിന്റെ നിലനില്പ് ഇല്ലാതെ ആയാലോ എന്നും ഒരു ഭയം... ഞാന്‍ എന്തിനു ഭയ പെടണം!!

"Why do you worry without cause?

Whom do you fear without reason?

Who can kill you?

What ever happened happened for the good. What ever is happening is happening for the good. Whatever will happen will also happen for the good. You need not have any regrets for the past. You need not worry for the future. The present is happening...!"

ജീവിതം.. അത് മുന്നില്‍ നിരന്നു പറന്നു നില്കുന്നു, മനസിന്റെ വേദനയും സന്തോഷവും കാരണങ്ങല്കും യുക്തികും അതീതമായി പോകുമ്പോള്‍ ജീവിതത്തിന്റെ കടിഞ്ഞാണ്‍ കൈ വിട്ട് പോകുന്നു. അവിടെ ഞാന്‍ പരാജയപെടുന്നു.. ഞാന്‍ മാത്രമല്ല എന്നെ സ്നേഹിച്ച എന്നെ സഹായിച്ച എല്ലാവരും.. യുക്തിയുടെ കണ്നടകളിലൂടെ ജീവിതത്തെ നോകിയപ്പോള്‍ ഉത്തരവാദിത്വങ്ങലോ കടമകലോ ഇല്ല എന്നപോലെ തോന്നി ഒരികല്‍. വികാരങ്ങളെ തള്ളി കളഞ്ഞാല്‍ ജീവിതം ഒത്തിരി സന്തോഷകരമാകും എന്ന് കരുതി. പക്ഷെ ജീവിതത്തിന്റെ യാന്ത്രികത ആത്മഹത്യാ എന്നൊരു ഐഡിയ മനസ്സില്‍ അടിചെല്പിച്ചു പോയി....

"This body is not yours, neither are you of the body. The body is made of fire, water, air, earth and either and will disappear into these elements. But the soul is permanent so who are you? Dedicate your being to where it matters where you can make a change to make the world better, free from fear, worry, and sorrow. It will bring you the tremendous experience of joy and life and freedom forever."

ഇത്രയും നാള്‍ കണ്ട ഉട്ടോപ്യന്‍ സ്വപ്നങ്ങള്‍, ദുഖിപിച്ച സാമൂഹിക അസമത്വങ്ങളും അനീതികളു എല്ലാം സ്വന്തം സ്വാര്‍ത്ഥതയുടെ ഒരു ഞൊടിയിടയില്‍ മറക്കാന്‍ എത്ര എളുപം!! സ്വപ്നങ്ങളും സിദ്ധാന്തങ്ങളും വലിച്ചെറിഞ്ഞു ഏതോ ഒരു ഒന്നുമില്ലയ്മയിലെക് ഓടി കേറാന്‍ ഒരു കൌതുകം. സമൂഹത്തിന്റെ ആരാച്ചകത്വങ്ങളില്‍ പങ്കു ചേര്‍ന്ന് മനുഷ്യത്വത്തിന്റെ രക്തം ഊറ്റി കുടിക്കാന്‍ കൊതിച്ച ഒരു മൂരചിയായി ഞാന്‍ മാറി ആ ചിന്തയില്‍... ഉത്തരവാദിത്വങ്ങള്‍ കുടിച്ച മുലപടിനോട് ഇല്ലായിരിക്കാം... അച്ഛന്റെ പണതോടോ പഠിപിച്ച അഭ്യപകരോടോ ഇല്ലായിരിക്കാം പക്ഷെ സമൂഹത്തോട് ഇല്ല എന്ന് കരുതിയെങ്കില്‍ തീര്‍ച്ചയായും അത് ബാല്യരിഷ്ടത ആയിരുന്നില്ല.. കുറ്റം... നീതി ദേവതയുടെ കണ്ണ് കെട്ടിയ സമൂഹത്തിന്റെ മറ്റൊരു പ്രതിനിധിയായി നീയും മാറി..

എവിടെ മനസിലെ വിപ്ലവം.. എവിടെ കരുതിവെച്ച സ്വപ്‌നങ്ങള്‍??? യാഥാര്‍ത്ഥ്യം ഇത്രയേ ഉള്ളു എന്ന് മനസിനെ പറഞ്ഞു പറ്റിക്കാന്‍ എങ്ങനെ കഴിഞ്ഞു സഖാവിനു ???

വായിക്കാന്‍ ഞാന്‍ ഇഷ്ടപെട്ടിരുന്നു കലിടോസ്കോപിന്റെ കൌതുകത്തോടെ ഞാന്‍ വായിച്ചിരുന്നു.. പക്ഷെ ഇന്ന് ഒരു വല്യ ഗര്‍ത്തത്തിന്റെ ഇരുട്ടായി പാഠപുസ്തകങ്ങള്‍ മാത്രം മുന്നില്‍ കിടക്കുന്നു. പഠിക്കാന്‍ മാത്രമേ എന്നെകൊണ്ട്‌ കൊള്ളു.. അതല്ലെങ്കില്‍ ആര്‍കും എന്നെ വേണ്ട എന്നൊക്കെ ചവറു തോന്നലുകള്‍. എന്നെ കൊള്ളില്ല എന്ന് മനസ് സ്വയം ശകരികുമ്പോള്‍ ഞാന്‍ വലിയ എന്തോ ആണ് എന്നാ അഹംഭാവവും ഏതോ ഒരു കോണില്‍. എങ്ങനെ ഒരേ എന്‍റെ മനസിന്‌ ഇത്ര വിരുദ്ധ ചിന്തകളെ സംയോജിപികനകുന്നു??

ഒരികല്‍ തീരുമാനിച്ചതായിരുന്നു തീരുമാനങ്ങളില്‍ പിന്നോട്ട് പോകരുത് എന്ന് തിരിഞ്ഞു നോക്കി repent ചെയ്യരുത് എന്ന്... സ്വയം നിസഹായമായ അവസധയിലെകു എത്തി ചേരരുത് എന്ന്.... അതിനായി ഒരു വഴിയും കണ്ടിരുന്നു, സന്തോഷകരമായ കാര്യങ്ങള്‍ ചെയ്യാന്‍. ദുഖങ്ങളും ത്യാഗങ്ങളും മാത്രം നിറഞ്ഞ ഒരു ഭൂതകാലം വെറും വിഡ്ഢിത്തം എന്ന് സ്വയം ബോധിപിച്ചിരുന്നു.. എന്നിട്ടും റൈസ് ഫീല്‍ഡില്‍ ഒരികല്‍ നട്ട ഞാറുകള്‍ കാറ്റില്‍ ഇളകി അവയുടെ വളര്‍ച്ചയുടെ സ്ഥായി ഖട്ടം എങ്കില്‍ പോലും പകച്ചു നിന്ന് മിഴിച്ചു നോക്കവേ... ചാലിലൂടെ കാലത്തിന്റെ നാഗം കൊളിളകം സൃഷ്ടിച്ചും എങ്കില്‍ നിശബ്ദവും ഇഴഞ്ഞു പോകവേ, ചോദികാതെ കടന്നു വന്ന സൌഹൃദത്തിന്റെ മാധുര്യം പോലും തിരിച്ചറിയാതെ, സ്വന്തം മനസിനെയും ബുദ്ധിയും കബളിപിച്ചും, ഏതോ ഹോര്‍മോണുകളുടെ മാത്രം പ്രേരണകള്‍ മുനിനിര്‍ത്തി, വെറുതെ കാഴ്ചയെ മറക്കുന്ന തുഷാര കണികകള്‍ കൊണ്ട് ജീവിതത്തെ മൂടി വെച്ച്, മരിക്കാന്‍ ഗ്രാന്‍ഡ്‌ പ്ലാനുകള്‍ തയ്യാറാക്കി.

മരിക്കാന്‍ ആഗ്രഹികുമ്പോഴും യുക്തി എന്നെ കൈവെടിഞ്ഞില്ല.. അതിന്റെ നഖങ്ങള്‍ എന്റെ ഹൃദയത്തില്‍ ആണ്ടിറങ്ങി.. അതിന്റെ നീരാളി പിടിത്തത്തില്‍ എന്റെ മനസ് തേങ്ങി... അനുവദിച്ചില്ല... സഹായത്തിനായി കേഴാന്‍ എന്നെ പ്രേരിപിച്ചു.. അത് മറ്റൊരു പ്രഹസനമായി തോന്നി... ഇപ്പോള്‍ വീണ്ടും.... ജീവിതം.... മുന്നില്‍....

എനിക്ക് ഇഷ്ടമാണ് നിന്നെ ഒത്തിരി ഒത്തിരി... ച്ചുംപനങ്ങള്കായി നീ ആവസ്യപെട്ടപോഴും.. തരാമെന്ന് പറഞ്ഞു പറ്റിച്ചു എന്ന് പറഞ്ഞു കള്ള ചിനുക്കം കാട്ടിയപ്പോഴും എല്ലാം മനസല്‍ ആയിരം ചുംബനങ്ങള്‍ നിന്റെ ചുണ്ടുകളില്‍ ഞാന്‍ ചാര്തുകയായിരുന്നു .. പക്ഷെ നീ എന്നില്‍ നിന്ന് ഒത്തിരി അകന്ന പോലെ തോന്നി.. നീ അകന്നതയിരുന്നില്ല എന്നോടെന്ന പോലെ മറ്റുള്ളവരോടും അടുതതയിരുന്നു.. നീ അത്ര നല്ലവനാണ്... എന്നിട്ടും അതില്‍ ബുദ്ധിയുടെ കുതന്ത്രങ്ങള്‍ കണ്ടെത്താന്‍ എന്റെ മനസ് പരകം പാഞ്ഞു. നിര്‍ണായക ഖട്ടങ്ങളില്‍ സ്വന്തം തെറ്റുകള്‍ മറച്ചു വെച്ച് ഞാന്‍ നിന്നെ ഉപദേശിച്ചു... നിന്നെ ആസ്വസികുമ്പോള്‍ നിന്നെ എന്റെ മാത്രമാക്കാന്‍ ഞാന്‍ നോക്കി... പക്ഷെ.... നിനക്ക് ഞാന്‍ നിന്നെ 'ഉപയോഗിച്ചതായി' തോന്നിയാലോ എന്ന് ഭയന്ന് ഞാന്‍ മാറി നിന്നു.... എന്നും ഞാന്‍ സ്വയം കുട്ടപെടുതിയിരുന്നു ... ദൂരെ നിന്നും നിന്റെ നില്പും നടപും സംസാരവും നോക്കിയിരുന്നു... ദൂരത്തു നിന്നും നിന്റെ ശബ്ദം തിരിച്ചറിഞ്ഞു... അബദ്ധവശാല്‍ ഉണ്ടായ സ്പര്‍ശനങ്ങള്‍ എന്നെ ത്രസിപിച്ചു... എന്റേതെന്നു നൂറു വട്ടം മനസ്സില്‍ പറഞ്ഞു... യാഥാര്‍ത്ഥ്യത്തിന്റെ ഓരോ നിമിഷവും അത് നഖം കൊണ്ട് നുള്ളി പറിച്ചു... കഴുകന്റെ കാലുകള്‍ എന്റെ മാംസത്തെ പിച്ചി ചീന്താന്‍ കൊതിച്ചു... വാര്‍ന്നൊഴുകുന്ന രക്തത്തില്‍ എന്റെ അടുതെക്കൊടിയെതുന്ന നിന്റെ നല്ല മനസിനെ മായ വളയങ്ങളില്‍ കുടുകി സ്വന്തമാക്കാന്‍ സ്വപ്നം കണ്ടു.. നിന്നില്‍ നിന്നും ഗര്‍ഭം ധരിക്കാന്‍ ലക്ഷ്യമിട്ട്.... അതിന്റെ കൌതുകത്തില്‍ സ്വര്‍ഗീയമായ സന്തോഷം കണ്ടെത്തി.. എന്റെ സ്വപ്‌നങ്ങള്‍ സാത്താന്റെ കോട്ടകള്‍ ആയിരുന്നു .. morals ജീവിതത്തില്‍ നിലനിന്നെങ്കില്‍ അത് മനസിന്റെ ദൂഷ്യത്തിന്റെ മറ മാത്രം....

ഈശ്വരനില്‍ വിശ്വസിച്ചില്ലെങ്കിലും നീ എനിക്ക് എന്റെ ഈശ്വരന്‍ ആയിരുന്നു .. ഞാന്‍ പ്രണയിച്ച ലൌകിക ശരീരങ്ങളും , ദൈവീക സ്വത്വങ്ങളും എനിക്ക് ഈശ്വരനയിരുന്നു... നീ....

മനസുകൊണ്ടെങ്കില്‍ പോലും ഒരു വേശ്യയുടെ പദവിയിലേക് അധപതിച്ച ഒരു സ്ത്രീ ..... അവള്‍ക്കും പരിശുധാത്മവില്‍ നിന്നു ഗര്‍ഭം ധരികണം എന്ന് ആഗ്രഹം... ആ കുഞ്ഞിനെ മുല ഊട്ടണം എന്ന് മോഹം... സ്വന്തം കാതലായ ആ കണ്ണനെ നന്നായി വളര്‍ത്തുമെന്നു അവള്‍ ജീവിതതോടു വാക്ക് പറഞ്ഞു സമയം ചോദിച്ചു.... ജീവിതത്തിലെ തെറ്റുകള്‍ തിരുത്താന്‍ ആ കുഞ്ഞിനെ ഉപയോഗ പെടുത്തുന്നു എങ്കില്‍ അതും പാപം, എന്ന് പറഞ്ഞു കാലം അവളുടെ മുഖത്ത് കാര്‍ക്കിച്ചു തുപ്പി... പക്ഷെ സാത്താന്‍ അവള്‍ക് ഇടം നല്‍കി.... നാശത്തിന്റെ കുരുന്നുകളെ വെള്ളവും വളവും കൊടുത്തു വളര്‍ത്തി.. അവള്‍ ചീത്തയായി,,,, ശരിയും തെറ്റും അറിയതെയായി...ഭൂതതെയും ഭാവിയും വര്‍ത്തമാനത്തെയും അവള്‍ മറന്നു പോയി... ഏതോ നേരിയ ഓര്‍മയില്‍ സ്നേഹിച്ചിരുന്ന എന്തൊക്കെയോ.. കൊതിച്ചിരുന്ന... സന്തോഷം കണ്ടെത്തിയിരുന്ന എന്തൊക്കെയോ... നഷ്ടപെട്ടു എന്ന് തോന്നി.. എല്ലാം അവസനിപികാനും.. കാരണം അത്രകണ്ട് അവളുടെ മനസ് മടുത്തിരുന്നു...

2010-05-06T19:42:00.000+05:30

So with the one day I got at home bunking college I was able to recognise all syptoms I am exhibiting as a complicated case of clinical depression and ADHD. Now thats a success!! Thank goodness I am not going to be a docter. One of my favourite conclusions from the long run of self treatment medical history is that if you are willing enough to act depressed you are depressed, a pretty depressing logic i know and look where it has left me.

2010-04-30T17:01:00.001+05:30

Ivide karmekhangal oru dikkil kuminju koodunnu... Pakshe aakasham irundittilla.. Suryan vilangunnundu... Suryante kannu pothi kalikunnathu nertha manju kettukalanu marikaralla.. Ava suryane kooduthal sundaramakunne ullu... Nerittu nokanakanja aa kadhinyam surya bhagavanil ninnum ava thudachumatti... Kunju makkalodothu kalikunna oru achan thante khanagambheeryam azhichu vekum pole....

2010-02-16T16:38:00.000+05:30

Jeevithathinte kadijan kaykalilninnum vazhuthipoyi athu thirichupidikanulla vepralathil kayaripidicha vallikal mullukal niranjathayirunnu.. Raktham chithariya kaykalumayi thalarnnurangiya ennte kalukalil kalam athinte pallukalazthi charal niranja pathayiloode valichizhachu.. Maranam polum bheruvine pole akannu ninnu.. Athrayum nal seriyennu karuthiyathoke enikethire mudrakuthapetu..ettavum tharam thazhna jeevithathil ninnu polum enne bhrashtu kalpichu..Masamthikayathe njan chapillaye pettu.. Aa thanuthuranja sareerathodoppam ente jeevachavavum maraviyude 6adi mannil... Thettiyatharku? Nashtangalarku?

200 words

2010-02-14T16:11:00.006+05:30

Now the problem with new ideas is that you can never be sure its new unless you know everything there is to know about the subject.. but that’s certainly not the case here is it?? being the Student Editor of the college came as an unexpected surprise for me when the union panel was announced and i was elected and I will be telling the absolute truth if I said I know nothing about it. Well... and I am to give 200 words of the new idea I am going to implement in my magazine! This is going to be fun!

I hate sarcastic jokes all the time but unfortunately that’s the only thing coming from me and coming towards me these days however I really do hope to live up to the expectations of those who elected me!! I could escape from the obligations to my parents by simply complaining 'who gave them the right to bring me into this world and raise me in the first place’... ya i do need some good spanking there... but my point is that I asked for these responsibilities directly or indirectly and i can’t run away from it and ask for charity or sympathy for the pressure on me.. I asked for it i have to prove that they didn’t make the wrong choice with me.

2009

2009-12-25T20:32:00.005+05:30

Almost a year ago I sat at my table in my hostel room at a point in between the two certainties of night and dawn. A moment before the birds started chirping and the crickets stopped their song. A time before my room mates woke up and filled my world with noises. An hour full of dreams that were others's. I sat their gazing at the half Brocken half boarded windowpane. Wondering why I don't have any resolutions this year. I wondered whether I have lost my way in the tempting extravagance of life or the stupidity of adolescent feelings. I wondered whether my life will find its meaning and get back in track. I wondered if at all I will be me again. The year was surprisingly full of new realizations... about ...who I am, why I am.. and most importantly what I am capable of. The answers were simple. Things that I overlooked before, maybe because of their simplicity!

My young friend, a junior in college sends me a forward asking what was unforgettable in 2009. Plainly its bloody beginning it self is unforgettable..... This year I realized that I am not 'whole' as I thought I was but then again I am not that lonely either!! I doubt whether the people I thought knew me still are updated... also the ones who are now my sole keepers are far behind in the achieve of memories. But it need not be that one ought know me fully. None can do that, and I can't wish for that cause if they did I loose the meaning of my existence. I am just one entity under a name, a name full of pressure on the realization of how forgotten my namesake is though without her the world may not have had his hero as he was, Which reminds me of one other thing, I was in search of a feminine side from within but instead i found a feminist side which is alarmingly masculine in nature to start with! Anyhow I was saying I am one entity under this name, an entity of memories, of experiences, thoughts and ideologies.. it's them that make me, ME. I feel it's only my thoughts that define me, and I disagree to alter them for others whims and fancies, I wont be static about them, if they exist they will in a dynamic form, ever-changing with the situations but only with the modifications atleast I feel apt for the sake of MY ideologies and MY rights and MY judgment.

I may be a self centered bitch, I feel so myself- I take my loved ones time for granted. My loved ones who are no longer defined by my love to them but their love and attitude towards me. P.S. I still hate stalkers. I talk and talk, inputting them on all about me and pay least attention to them.. I know I am a bitch there and ONLY there. Everywhere else what ever I have said or done I still am sure was NOT for me but for everyone else. I stood in the front took the responsibilities and also the blame. Very few realize that. Very few even try to. I may have volunteered out of my fear or my egos but my actions were never for those. I am sure of that.....I am fed up of being doubtful.. If I don't believe in me no one would. If I am not with me I can’t be lonelier. If I am not their to say I... that I will never be me!!

Life was never defined. Those who tried were wise to fail; those who did were the ones who really failed!! Life is what you make it. And though the path is still in mist I am sure of it now. Because I am no longer alone. God and his people were never there but I AM now. The Godless Child of Adam!!

2009-12-25T19:23:00.001+05:30

Njan vidhiyil viswasikunnilla.. Ente kanakukal nokan eniku molil deyvavumilla.. I LIVE to make a change 4 de btr 2morrow.. Aa prayathnathil njan enna vyakthiku pradhanyamalla.. Aaru paranjalum paranjathu karyamenkil angekarikku..

2009-12-19T18:31:00.002+05:30

Fools and fanatics are always certain of themselves, but wiser people are full of doubts

☭ അഭിവാദ്യങ്ങള്‍ ☭

2009-10-02T21:14:00.002+05:30

ഇന്ന് കേരളത്തില്‍ ഉടനീളം കയ്കള്‍ കോര്‍ത്ത്‌ മനുഷ്യച്ചങ്ങലയില്‍ കണ്ണികളായ, പ്രതിഷേധത്തില്‍ പങ്കു ചേര്‍ന്ന എല്ലാ സഖാകള്‍കും , ജനാധിപത്യ വിശ്വാസികള്‍കും അഭിവാദ്യങ്ങള്‍.

Some Simple Facts About ASEAN Pact

2009-09-27T00:03:00.001+05:30

1. The ASEAN pact signed between India and ASEAN countries is an economic agreement for cross border free trade. i.e., in simplest terms removal of the import regulations and tariffs that are excreted on foreign merchandise for sustenance and empowerment of our economy (which help sustaining judicious price levels in the domestic market, since the entry of cheap produce from other countries-who have sufficient investing power and machines and technology- in to our domestic market would mean hammering of market for native produce)

2. The countries in the pact all lie near the equator which means they share the same climatic and geographic features as Kerala and hence cultivate almost the same crops. Also these countries exhibit better productivity than us in these.

3. ASEAN pact means there will be free flow of products, services and investments into the countries and the most critical will be its effect on Kerala's economy. Kerala's economy is based on cash crops like Coconut, Rubber, Cardamom, Fish, Coir, Tea and Pepper and also the income from oversea/gulf immigrations. Its future is already foggy after the global economic crisis and this agreement is bound to make the situation worse.

4. Not only does the Asean countries have better productivity than us they have lesser production cost, so they will be able to bring cheap products to the market. Also it should be noted that these crops are long duration perennial crops of high initial investment and any price falls in the market will have immediate effect on the farmers and subsequently market failure.

5. Not only did the union government rush to sign the agreement even after the severity of the situation to Kerala's agriculture and fisheries to the Prime Minister they didn't even present the details of the agreement in the parliament.

6. Though India's first condition was to include 1460 products in the negative list, the number have been reduced to 486 and there is not much chance for even this if the agreement proceeds. Also most of Kerala’s agriculture produce are in the normal list for which the tariff is to be reduced to 5% in coming 10 years.

7. Conditionalities of the agreement will come into being from 2010 January 1st. And though it is said that the effects wouldn't be pronounced for 7years only after which the tariffs will be completely removed it is estimated to create chaos to our people within 3 years time.

8. The developed nations are giving high subsidies to their farmers at the same time they ask our government from giving subsidies to native farming community. Removal of these and entry of free trades will simple shatter our already imbalanced food security.

9. There are some saying that this pact will aid in the development of the industrial sector of our nation but it should be noted that Singapore, China, Japan etc are countries where industrialization took root and are major trade centers. Can Indian products compete with the products of these countries??

10. In nut shell Asean Pact is going to shatter our dreams for achieving Economic Security or Food Security. It is going to smash our industrial and agricultural sectors to smithereens. It is going to leave our people unemployed and starving. This is our problem!

Rise Against ASEAN Pact

2009-09-26T23:01:00.001+05:30

ഞാന്‍ ചുരുക്കി പറയാം, കാര്യം ഇത്ര മാത്രം. 'ASEAN' എന്നാല്‍ അസോസിയേഷന്‍ ഓഫ് സൌത്ത് ഈസ്റ്റ്‌ ഏഷ്യന്‍ നാഷന്‍സ് . A geo-political and economic organization of 10 countries located in Southeast Asia, which was formed in 1967for acceleration of economic growth, social progress, cultural development among its members, the protection of the peace and stability of the region, and to provide opportunities for member countries to discuss differences peacefully. Ok ഗ്രേറ്റ്‌ നല്ല കാര്യം. ഇനി ASEAN കരാര്‍ എന്നതാ എന്ന് നോക്കാം, ആസിയന്‍ സ്വതന്ത്ര വ്യാപാര കരാര്‍ നമ്മുടെ കര്‍ഷകമെഖലയെ കാര്ന്നുതിന്നന്‍ പോകുന്ന സാമ്രാജ്യത്വ കെണിയാണ്. കര്‍ഷക ആത്മത്ത്യയെന്നു പറഞ്ഞു കരഞ്ഞു നടന്നാല് പോര അതുണ്ടാകാതെ നോക്കാന്‍ പഠിക്കണം. നമ്മുടെ നാട് ഒരു വികസ്വര രാജ്യമാനെന്നതില്‍ ആര്‍കും സംശയം ഇല്ലല്ലോ ?? ഗ്ലോബല്‍ മാര്‍ക്കട്ടുമായി കിടപിടിച്ചു നിക്കാന്‍ നമ്മുടെ ഡോമെസ്റിക് മാര്കെട്ടിനു പട്ടുമെന്നാണോ?? ഇല്ല.. അതെല്ലര്‍ക്കും അറിയാം. രണ്ടാം ലോകമഹായുദ്ത്തിനു ശേഷം കോളനിവല്കരണം എന്നാ പേരിലുള്ള ചൂഷണം പറ്റില്ലെന്ന് കണ്ടപ്പോ കുത്തക മുതലാളികളും capitalist മൂരാച്ചികളും ചേര്‍ന്ന് കണ്ടെത്തിയ ഒരു പുതിയ ചൂഷണ മാര്‍ഗം മാത്രമാണീ സ്വതന്ത്ര വ്യാപാര മേഖല. സ്വന്തം നാട്ടില്‍ ഏതവന് ചത്താലും തനിക്കു ലാഭമുണ്ടാക്കിയമതി എന്നോര്കുന്നവന്‍, ബംബര്‍ ക്രോപ്പ് ഉണ്ടാകുമ്പോ ഹെകട്രു കണക്കിന് ഭകഷ്യ ധാന്യം തീ ഇട്ടു ഉണ്ടാക്കുന്ന ലാഭതോടു കിടപിടിക്കാന്‍ ഒരു ജനാധിപത്യ ദരിദ്ര വികസ്വര രാജ്യമായ ഇന്ത്യയുടെ അഭ്യന്തര വിപണിക്ക് ആകില്ല. ഇത് അറിഞ്ഞിരിക്കെ നമ്മുടെ വിപണിയെ ആഗോലവല്‍കരിക്കാനും ഉദരവല്‍കരിക്കാനും മുതിരുക വഴി നമ്മുടെ ചെറുകിട കര്‍ഷകരെ മരണത്തിലേക്ക് തള്ളിവിടുകയാണ് ഇന്ത്യന്‍ സര്‍കാരിന്റെ ഇത്തരം പുതിയ നയങ്ങള്‍. കൂടുതല്‍ നീട്ടുന്നില്ല നമ്മുടെ നാടിനും, നമ്മെ തീറ്റി പോറ്റുന്ന കര്‍ഷക ജനതക്കുമായി, ഗാന്ധിജയന്തി ദിനത്തില്‍ CPI(M) സന്ഖടിപിക്കുന്ന മനുഷ്യ ചങ്ങലയില്‍ കണ്ണികളായി പ്രതിഷേധം അറിയിക്കാന്‍ എല്ലാവരും തയ്യാറാകണമെന്ന് അഭ്യര്‍ഥിക്കുന്നു.
ലാല്‍ സലാം
sorry for the spelling mistakes.. Anyhow I just had to do it in Malayalam simple because I am not talking for the elite degnified educated communities but for the poor farmers. സര്‍വസാധാരണക്കാരായ കേരളീയ കര്‍ഷകര്‍ക്കായി ശബ്ദമുയര്തനാണ് ഞാന്‍ ആഗ്രഹിക്കുന്നത് അതിനു എനിക്ക് അന്ഗ്ലെയ ഭാഷയുടെയോ കോളേജ് ഡിഗ്രീകളുടെയോ ആവശ്യം ഇല്ല, പാശ്ചാത്യ വല്‍കൃത സമൂഹത്തില്‍, പുറമോടികളുടെ നിറചാലിക്കലില് മുഴുകി സ്വന്തം നാടിനെ മറക്കുന്ന ഇന്നത്തെ തലമുറയ്ക്ക് അന്ന്യം നിന്ന് പോയ മാതൃഭാഷയാനെനിക്കിഷ്ടം, എനിക്ക് പ്രധാനം.

Mild Earthquake Reported in Many Parts of Trivandrum: BHOOMI KULUNGI!!

2009-09-18T19:17:00.013+05:30

Bhoomi kulungi..... njan paranju bhoomi kulukkam bhoomi kulukkam... ellarum onnu kulungi chirichu athra thanne!! Veendum njan paranju bhoomi kulukkam sathyam, parihasa chirikal veendum utharamayi... appo da tvyil yathoru parichayavumillatha oruthan parayunnu kulungiye kulungiye appazhoo... ellarum parayunnu bhoomi kulukkam bhoomi kulukkam.... njan enthu cheyyanam?? oru chiri passakkam alle!!!

The funny things are
1. The earthquake may have been mild for those at CESS but it created a lot many continental shifts and trimmers in my mind.. some wells sank and volcanoes came up!!
2. The first to report it online (could have been me, I had sneeked in to check my scrapbook just about that time) was technopark people!!
3.It's Poseidon who cause earthquakes right?? That reminds me what became of Percy Jackson the last olympian?? Lost track of my library life (which I was starting to enjoy for once) with all the records and exams, thinking back that was all there was in the last sem!!

Also ithinuvendi puthiyoru entry ezhuthandatha but.. ippo samayam illa, nale koodi exam undee.. appo lets discus the earthquake that Tharoor made in brief. First of all I take back what I said about words being unable to express mind, I will say now words totally reflect peoples views and mind!! The Cattle Class remark was typical to have come from his mouth!! And loved what Ummanchandi just said Samoohyapravarthakar aakumbo ithiri lalithyavum vinayavum ok venamennu!! Comment avarde ellam thalakku mukaliloode Sonia Gandhiyude swantham nominee aayi vannu keriyathalle (ee kannalikale mekkan), ishtappedathavar congressil thanne undu!! But I am not of the opinion he need to resign just because of that slip of mind, he did get elected and is supposed to be someone of knowledge and dignity also it's the decision of the Prime Minister and Congress party (Then again cattle is to be considered sacred right?? Atleast by us Agriculture people!! :P). Anyhow the fact here is that congress is making the chelavuchurukal programme a big joke with all this. Samoohya pravarthakar ennu swayam viseshipikkunnavar samoohathilekkirangi chellan enthinu madikkunnu?? Thottu koodaymayudeyum theendi koodaymayudeyum vere oru version!! Ellam onnu kulungi theerum, richer scale reading 3ilum 4ilum ok aayi reportukal varum, janangal paribhrantharakenda ennu authorities ariyikkum, scope undel athinte perilum advertisementsum marketing vijayangalum undakum athu thanne innathe lokam!!

Another funny quake in my mind : Will Rogers said something about "If you’re ridin’ ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there." I considered it a funny quote, may because I knew Mr.Rogers name as commedian but now I see the seriousness in it!!

Just a Thought

2009-09-13T07:45:00.002+05:30

All corruption arise from the feeling that you are not getting what you are worthy of.

Love and Other Disasters

2009-09-02T21:06:00.004+05:30

Exactly a month has passed from my last update and it was.. Well.... a month!! Life is weird as always.. Trying to make me take back many things already said!! Seriously things have changed so much since I joined college.... life hasn’t yet succeeded showing me new means to live for... Hell no.. And things haven't changed beyond recognition... That too no.. But things have changed... a lot. Though officially I am still in 1st year this coming 17th is my first anniversary of joining college, and yah officially also I will be starting my 2nd year this 22nd or so, any how my point is years are flying by and they are taking so much and giving so many other things. It's hard to keep track of them all and many a time you fail to even notice what’s going on but sometimes if you are lucky enough you get these few days to stay back and look at things, well only if you can be ignorant of the university exam that you have in less than a weeks time and do it -Like I am doing now...

Seriously a year ago giving miss calls to people (truthfully I should also add especially boys) was out of question!! but ... lets just say things have changed. My policies have changed entirely from that of my parents their advise I just rule out saying..Generation gap? out of fashion? But that’s not the change I am talking about today... something else, the unexpected dawned upon me in the month that passed. Yah it happened!!

Well.. not that.. The arts was something.. we were all so coordinated.. We worked together so well... boys and girls... dada’s and the small fishes.. Everyone.... And everyone (as far as i know) was pleased to play their part... doing what they are good at.. Me running here and there organizing and filling in the vacancies (well yah... Guess that’s my thing). I was so sure even when I said in the last years send off ‘Despite the fact that our first impression was fear what we dream of now is to be like you' that we will never break up like their batch. Seriously 05 batch is an awesome batch such a talented batch has never come to COA as far as i can tell yet they could do nothing.. Just because of all the internal fights..and I never imagined such a situation in 08. Yah one thing is there.. There are no 'many' fights there just so many against me.... hmm **sigh** Things have calmed down, a lot. I got a lot many kisses of good bye before everyone left for home. I stayed behind wanted to be the last to leave, because of a crazy wish to see everything!! Funny things I do these days. I am the first to get to the campus in the morning last to leave.... People suspect me to be in love (funnily with a lot many by the other lot many) which made me have 'the talk' with PP just the other day about how much I despise the ideas of love and marriage. But I wondered a lot about that later. Especially since I have been thinking of a particular person a lot, but the funny part is I was thinking over and over again why it won’t work out...it's funny you know I have had crushes before, even boyfriends and proposals but it's the first time I have crushed on someone who know I have a crush on him, thanks to my nosy room mate who made my crazy diary notes public and to the last person who should have known it – my last reject, and still tease me and confuse me!

ok ok change of subject seem adequate not because of my cheeks are burning but because it's just hormones it will pass and I don't want to repent later of what I blabbered and because I have already made up my priorities and to love I stand neutral!!Also my horoscope says "Your key planet Venus is at odds with stern Saturn today, cautioning you against sharing your feelings. It's exceptionally problematic if you see nothing but the good in a situation because you could easily miss the warning signals. If you go ahead and bring your unresolved emotional issues to work, you may be embarrassed when you realize that it was inappropriate. A little self-restraint can save you from a big headache later on."..creepy!! Which brings me to the first thing I should have said but with which I close this silly update HAPPY ONAM!!

Story of the Day

2009-08-02T18:35:00.005+05:30

Unlike the other days when I wonder if there was a god at all it would have been cool to lay all the troubles at him sware at him and blame him!! well prettymuch all the things the so called believers are doing.. today I was feeling pretty happy as an aethist which I am and browsing on net I found thiese .. so enjoy

1st some what a serious comment
"You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of your god."

Now
"the Darwin award, for those not familiar,
are for those individuals who contribute to the survival of the fittest
by eliminating themselves from the gene pool before they have a
chance to breed."
explained stuff pretty better than the teachers!!

next
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, which is why we have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question:
Is Hell exothermic (gives of heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some varient.
One student however, wrote the following:
\First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving.
I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to hell.
With birth and death rates as they are we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume of Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase untill all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop untill Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms.Banyan during my freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you" and we take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded with her, then #2 cannot be true.
Thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.

The student recieved the only "A" given.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY COMRADE CHE!

2009-06-14T19:13:00.004+05:30

Che Guevara is Hope and Inspiration. If he was alive he would have been 81 (as old as my grand parents.. but no one can picture him like that, he is the hero of youth.)He is a fighter and ideologist. His legacy has only intensified the 42years that passed after his execution. But I wonder how much people understand him today... I doubt if his quotes and pictures are being misused for the fancies of today's being. If so.. it is a pity.
He is what Jesus is to Christians, to young communists, he was a revolutionary.... For me sometimes I feel he is there taking away the bullets of criticism with which I am hit. Nothing I get are like the 9 bullets he took for himself on that bloody October night, five times in the legs, once in the right shoulder and arm, once in the chest, and finally in the throat.
Anyhow coming back to reality my greatest wish at the moment is to be able to read his 'motorcycle diaries'. So you know what to get for me on my coming birthday!!
Let me stop with a little information to my dear friends who pass the corridor with Che's famous photo and famous lines printed on it with out knowing what the heck it is!! Well yes "Hasta la Victoria Siempre" it was the closing line of Che's last letter to Fidel Castro and it means Forever until victory.

2009-05-19T13:18:00.001+05:30

It's a good Article. A reminder of for what we are living... for what we should live and why the heck we should live.
Ahilya Rangnekar A Veteran Marxist-Leninist

Spanthanam- beats of memories

2009-05-03T13:08:00.011+05:30

The name seems more apt now. It was '08's 1st arts.. Though the last inter college arts was after we joined the college only viralil ennavunnavaathipankeduthirunnullu. I still remember seniors asking us to come for the screening for drama..... then story writing contest for which I bunked a class for the first time- entomology, digestive system I remember... Then in dorm how chechy's asked anushma to teach someone steps of oppana. Sneha coming exhausted after drama practice... so many paradooshanams and kusumbu parachils about sneha which was soon concluded as originated from asooya as she is the heroin of the drama... well ya she is pretty [:P] And ya how she was asked to reduce weight( I wondered "ini evide kurayana" ) as there is a scene where she is to be held by the hero or something like that......anyhow .. that all seem long back.... and that certainly is not the 1st arts I want to remember. You know what I am proud of what Sreenadhettan said about us more than any prize we got or the score we did score.. oh yah you weren’t there... so I will tell you what he said.. He said 2008 batch was impressively very coordinated.... aadyamayanu ithrayum co-ordinationode oru 1st year batch artsil pankedukkunnathu.. I am proud of that!!

Athu parayumbol the 1st thing that come to my mind is the fancy dress. Prasanth as Sakunthala.... now that was SOMETHING.. The whole class was working together for that. On one side Arya is giving her shall and me my saree for him, kureper poster makinginte papers adichumattunnu, mattuchilar maninte padam varakkunnu, vere kure per poomala kettunnu, boys avante meesa edukkunnu... pullu parikunnu, poovu kettunnu, pattum announcementum ezhuthunnu, athu padhikkunnu, photo edukkunnu.. pinne sheet ittu moodi avane staginu pinnilekku... stage set cheyyan oru paychil.. pinne curtain uyarumbozhekku athu kananayi ellarum koodi otta ottam... announcement deskil ellarum thalakuthi ninnu chirikkuvayirunnathre!! But that was batch spirit!! Athinu oru mannamkattem kittiyilla but I am telling you athu njangalku pullanu, graminae, poaceae.... we enjoyed it beyond anything and thats what matters... :)

I was never an arts person..... ente veettil aarum alla... koodi poya quiz, elocusion ennathil upari, varappo, patto danso onnum ente paridhiyil varunna karyangal alla... But I see what Sameena chechy meant, It's the peculiarity of our college, njangal kurachu pere ullu ennathukondu it will take the maximum out of us.. every single one if at all attached to their batch will work to avarude maximum extend!! Me and Ajay was filling in the many entries no one would take.. for the same reason I was glad I didn't have to go for many... cause people who are actually talented took over when the time came. some exceptions where the collage and English essay :P.. I was shocked to know we got 40 something for collage and one judge actually gave me 95 for my essay!!

As criticism the Topics were too common you know... For malayalam essay 'prakrithi samrakshanam' and English 'A war on Terrorism' elocution 'mathethara India' Good topics but kettu pazhakiya pole... doesn't matter.. It was good. The judgment was also good. No biasing was there.. and those who thought there was any dears it's just because you see only your batch’s side.. Ithu ammamar makkale nokkum pola.. you simple can't see the real picture when you are emotionally attached to one party!!

My luck was in getting to work with most of the committees!! I mean though a part of publicity committee I got the chance to clean the 'restricted entry' programme office the first day itself where I found the receipt of college unionte peril nadathiya archana!! Then stage setting the 2nd day since no one was there... even njan pottikkatha chattiyude theri justin sirintennu kelkanulla bhagyam vare enikku sidhichu! Another + point of working with stage and decoration committee was getting to eat the pori+aval+sharkara+pazham that was out near the nilavilakku soon after the inauguration. Then Food committee, my dear friends working with much intimacy tried their best to make me buy something from the food stall that sold ultra diluted squash (they have bought from the kudumbasree stall only 30 feet away) under the name fresh juice! chutta motta, dosha and chatni was the delicacy. Anyhow what they didn't know was that I was totally broke and I couldn’t buy a thing even if I wanted to but our poor and dear Aneez with his heart we understood is larger than our own stadium was kind enough to buy us all many rounds with his own money which was although restricted to only enough for a couple of motta porichathu and two or three dosa! In between all these randu senior villanmar alkare bheeshanipeduthi chooduvellavum athinte demand kuranjappo (athayathu announcement deskil ninnum ee sathyam vilichariyichappol) hostelile thanuthariya kattankappiyum oru roopakku vilpana nadathi.

Tholvikalude pooramayirunnu aa divasamenkilum thats the day we totally enjoyed, churukathil alambi thalli!! But last day was ours and ours only.. njangal writing sessionum musicum thoothuvari and thus got the 3rd position with a manyamaya score!! Hurray!

Adutha divasam classum mandhapavum clean cheyyalayirunnu pani. It felt good though extremely strained and exhausted. thalennu pathirathri vare neenda valedictory functionum, krishnayude birthday celebrationum photo eduppum... ellam oorthappol enthennillatha oru santhosham. How well we all worked together, how close we all have got in the 6 months that passed.. how much we all loved each other.. And my life was meaningful within the group, appeal kodukkan bahalam vekkumbo.. ippo samsarikkanda nale ravile namukku aalochikkam ennu ellarodum parayan, staginte pinnil ninnu repinodu paisa karyam samsarikkan, rep nikkumbol enikku keran oru avakasavum illatha diasil keri ahankarathode samsarikkan, chettanmarkum chechymarkum jay vilikkan pinne athinellam ajayude theri kelkan!! It felt good to be a part of everything... but now that it's all over I feel like something is missing.. and thinking about that the 2nd sem is nothing but boring... VS said college oru vazhiyambalam poleyanu. Now njangade last years are leaving for RAWE... and our last sem also isn't that distant.. It’s obligatory.. samayam poykondirikkunnu... only yesterday we all joined COA, got to know the campus the union, the seniors... and now we are already a part of it all and tomorrow we will have to pass it on and move on.. The only thing to be done is to enjoy each moment we get in the campus.. ethelum mandanuvendi collegin maidanathil kathunikkathe... LIVE YOUR LIFE (now comes the song it's my life its now or never.....)

Sakhave ee Ardhamillatha Jeevitham Enthinu??

2009-05-03T12:47:00.003+05:30

Oru jadayayi kondu nadakkan mathramayi oru prasathnathil viswasikkunnavarodu enikku puchananu.. alla... oru prasthanam thanne venda.. deyva viswasamayikotte... athu verum natyathinakaruthu. Ini ippo oru karyathil viswasam allenkil aviswasam aanullathenkil athu thurannu paryan entha ithra prasnam??? Seriously... alla swantham manasilullathu thurannu parayathe.. sawantham viswasangalkayi jeevikkathe mattullavare sukhipikkan vere aarenkilumayi jeevikunnathu, it's simple not right.. I pity you.

Spanthanam 09

2009-04-26T20:47:00.002+05:30

Beats of Memories
26th COA MEGA Mini-Arts 2009
have been finding the update to this topic pretty difficult especially since everyone is overwhelmed with batch spirit and anything I say will be betrayal to my batch ... Another unfortunate event for me was that I missed the last GB for arts since I was having my engineering practical exam the same time.Still that doesn’t stop me ……….So At last the sem-break of '08 is here and we are all a bit scared about the oncoming arts since all other batches are midway in their practice and we the unfortunate are going to start only this 15th. But I am keeping optimistic what ever happens that can’t be worse than our 1st sports fest!! And this is an amazing experience to treasure for ever na??? Keeping up the sanguinity we the ’08 are going to start our 2nd sem with the great mini arts. (11th April)

Apologies 4 not updating the topic in-between but I am soo very busy helping out my batchmates with the programmes & giving a hand 2 keep things 2gether. But now that it’s over & I am getting a bit 2o much of free time I am feeling somewhat desp... It's over .. it's over....Spanthanam 09.. the 26th interclass arts**sigh**

Yes we got only 3rd but that doesn't matter. 1st of all unlike our 1st sports njangal manayamaya thotte!! Pinne it felt great 2 work 4 something profoundly & 2 cheer & laugh & stick 2gether not only 4 my batch but 4 everyone.. 4 COA! Spanthanathinte anurananangal njangalude hridayangalilayirunnu! It's my first arts still I believe there was none other like this & in my heart I wish there will be many others!

The most emotive event was the valedictory function. The formal function ended with prize distribution by dean & vote of thanks by Appu chettan but Sreenadhettan's talk after that was sooooo touching. I wonder if he is preparing 4 the send off already. Now I realize we are going 2 miss '05 batch, already on their way 2 RAWE so very much. Sreenadhettan without him I can't imagine anything happening at COA, Binu chettan who we couldn't believe was in final year since he was soo friendly from the beginning, Malu Chechy, Sarathettan, Don chettan, Glinta chechy, Athul chettan ........COA wouldn't be the same without them. But I guess the change is inevitable. It happens every year... batches pass out & new batches come... What they leave behind will be taken up by the next. They will have successors who will rise 2 the occasion & COA will go 4ward 2gether, hand in hand without senior-junior difference with out alumni-student difference.

Leaving the sentiments behind let me congratulate the winners of various competitions. First 2007 batch the overall champions. I am jealous of u really it was ur first interclass arts too na! But u one fair & square with talent & aptitude!! Next 2006 batch who had many restrictions & troubles but over come them all & became the runners up. 2005 batch & PG who were even fewer in number & had very little time & yet cheerfully participated & scored so well. & of course my dear batch mates ’08 who did more than anyone could wish 4, worked 2gether so well & stood up 4 each other. I simple wish it will be so 4 ever. Congratulations!! (26 April)

Haphazard Without A Heading

2009-04-12T21:54:00.012+05:30

Life was busy with my very first university exam on the run(now that's a usage that has never come to my tongue before.. lets see should I use up and about instead cause on the run give me a picture of running scared to cross Mexican border on second thoughts... nah!! Its a free world here also :P I will let it stay as such, that's the speciality of today's post you know what ever comes out first stays as such)!! Hell it was something, the exams I mean!! From 11th march to 9th April... what was it 11 theory papers and 10 practicals???I can't even remember. Amma asked me afterwards if all exams were hard for me and I seriously couldn't tell I told her "I don't know let the result come"!! After the practicals itself I was totally bored and didn't want to study my depression added on with irritation towards my classmates comments I just totally left studies out. Entomology mam asked me "Jennie Entomology avasanam vittu kalanjo??" Well njan ellam avasanam vittu kalanju..

I totally love my college, even the god damn syllabus has got to me but... I am getting my nervous breakdowns toooo often now!! Technically I am fit as an ox and that’s all everyone got to know but in my psyche I am at high risk and can fall dead any moment!! I don't know how the heck that happened but after 12th it was a sudden realization that I never saw the path ahead since I always thought the possibility of my surviving past the age of 15 is a rare event!!Now now am I not full of surprises!

Anyhow still alive and kicking my latest troubles were of classifying my affairs, my thoughts and even the photos I take!! Last day I was categorizing the photos for orkut albums and it was hard to tell what is personal what is college life and what is private at last I simple made three folders 1. College (having all the nonliving features of my dear campus - which was hard since my college though silent is a very lively place ;)) 2.People (photos of people well even I could tell people from buildings and plants) 3. Misc. (with subclasses of all the junk pictures I took for my academic needs as of the many plants in the crop museum and around the insect specimens and some uncategorized clicks out of mere impulsiveness!!). After all these years I see the world as the lifeless the living and junk???**sigh**

I have been dealing with many troubles with high scope of writing about or rather blogging but I was yet again in a perplexity should it be in my diary or here or die within me?? What are my priorities and preferences?? I don't talk much on ideologies to people.... no I don't, born within me they die within me that way not causing much trouble for me!! Especially with the election so near I keep my mouth shut tight so as to keep the many friends around!! Usually the harmless(not yet proved otherwise) topic is only 'senior boys'!!!! That is not so childish as talking about family and not too adult as talking of sex(with the excepting of the many witty comments that come up in between), so totally accepted in the small gossipy group of girls in the LH.(Not everyone though). And I have been surprising myself with the ability to talk about anything which I hope wouldn't fail me when I get up on the stage for elocution during this arts fest!!

Oh yah!! The Mini Arts, like no one have heard of my college you will be having no idea at all about our arts fest too. Even I know it's going to be nowhere near any of the spectacular extravaganzas of CET or GECB or any other damn college that live only to give their own fest with the excuse of exposure but simply to make some hell of hullabaloo commotion and have a lot of fun at some others expense but I know our arts is going to be great do you know why?? Because of the simple fact that it is ours!

I do miss Barton in a way when I brows through the trip photos and over flashy scraps it's another life, but even time I miss it I realize that where I stand today is the beginning of the path I always wanted! I remember what my friend said to me when I got COA on the 3rd allotment "Allelum ninakku Agricultura nallathu, nee oru software engginear aakuka ennokke paranja ninte manasum reethikalum vechu athu niankku orikkalum adjust cheythu pokan pattilla".. Now I see it's somewhat true. I can't tolerate people with more pretendance than a vision, learning to put makeup on reality so young that never have I had a chance to see the real world as it was ...

The world has changed. I can see it though I was here for only a little more than the last 1 and a half decade. Love has moved out for obsession and friendship to insensitiveness and intimacy to corruption. The measure of closeness has become how much bad words they use to one another. Is this how it should be? Is it the 'culture' man boast so much about??

2009-03-08T16:55:00.001+05:30

ilathumbile mazhathulli pole nikkuvayirunnu.... veyil vannappo bashpamayi.. parannu parannu uyarnnuyarnu enne pole kure thullikale kandu onnu chernnu ozhuki ozhuki nadakkuva ini thanuppu tharan malaniraye kandethanam(orographic precipitation!! njan meteorologyil padhichatha) appo thanuthu thanuthu thulliyayi thazhekkethi mannine nanachu aa manam nukarnnu... chedikalal aagiranam cheyyapettu... oru peelivakayay valrnnu thanaleki kurenal.. pinne maranam...

Lover to Stalker

2009-03-08T09:51:00.004+05:30

To start I am thinking of going back to an older post. Never have I repented more than after that. It had many unexpected aftereffects. You expect someone to do something and out of the blue someone else does that,... **sigh** and never have I hated valentines day more than this year, It was filled with crap. Seriously.... Boys I beg you to realize that there is a limit to everything. You propose we say no.. we let you be friends again and you go and trash it with your so called feelings means its over.. no more chances no more .. nothing... what are we to do if you follow us around send messages of torture.. tell us we killed you??? Man that’s stalking and please if you had ever really loved you will know...you will be a support to the girl she will be able to feel safe what ever the matter but this is entirely opposite!! DO you have any idea how much emotional trauma you are causing us???
I have been limiting my emotions, words and thoughts for so long...ever since the 'unexpected'... I am sorry. But I am totally over it. If you had not become like this I would have thought back every sec if I did you just but now.. I must thank you really.. You succeeded where I failed in making me hate you!!

YES.. sooooooooo I am back!! Like the trees sprout in spring after a long winter sleep I am back.. Inactivity is never my answer to anything. Inactivity is death!! And I am not yet ready for that though I am never to stop it if it stands looking straight to my face. Also since I don't believe in god and not atall in after life I have lots and lots to do in this life I got!! (Also since university exams start the day after the day after tomorrow) There is lots to say.. I will keep you loaded soon enough; as soon as I do away with all the record work that is!

star apple- now thats a thought!!

2009-02-26T18:24:00.002+05:30

2009-01-10T22:11:00.003+05:30

2009-01-09T19:04:00.003+05:30

After a long episode of cryes.. I am actually starting to enjoy the new year laughing my head of with 'FRIENDS' on tv (Man I love this show..)!! About time too.. I didn't cry this much even when me and my bf broke up after 1 and a half years two years ago, now I cry for a guy to whome I said no.... (p.er....lease no)... ok I shouldn't get too cool about it all of a sudden for I unlike you people reading this know what I went through... last week sucked for me pretty much cover it all, spicy details is that I cryed over phone for hours and got sinusitis and was drove home the next moring and haven't got good enough to go back even after 4 days!!

One thing you can be sure to learn being an offspring of a love marriage couple is that you can't simple fall in love with anyone. From the time you are in 2nd standard or so you will be thinking about it and wanting it more than much of anything but never trusting it. I mean it's just a theory like how joey explains err... many things!! **wink**... I am not really afraid of getting committed.. but I can't simply believe in what people call love nowadays!! You see the damn guy or gal once and love just sprout out of nowhere??? is that love, seriously???? Now this is the time when I loose my belief in love as how I lost that in god!! I believe in some..things but the names 'love' 'god' or what ever is not good enough for what I believe in.. how does that sound!!

THE LIFEBOAT ETHICS!!

2008-12-25T13:28:00.007+05:30

You are in the midst of a sea in a life boat carrying 50 people which is it's safe limit. you meet 100 people floating about after ship wreck. You have 3 options: 1. lodge all and die together, complete justice but useless. 2. House 10 more and reach the lifeboats maximum limit and risk your safety. 3. Accommodate no more and reach shore safe and sound, complete injustice but safe!!! What to do what to do???

My analysis coming up... do leave your comment

People Give Me a Straight Answer

2008-12-14T22:00:00.005+05:30

I am asking because you are dear to me and because I don't want to hurt you by not aknowledging what you are to me. Please it's a question only you can answer. Is it a too complicated question or are you afraid of what I would think or say?? Don't you even know me??? I may shout at you or cry all night but there it will end and we can carry on with our lives together or not as you please in future with out that weight in our hearts.
I often fail to recognise what people mean as a confession of feelings and mistake them for simple words of friendship(and am relieved atleast it's not the other way around) , and it has lost me a good friend already but after what happend then I was confused if he really was a friend to have left me in utter chaos. How ever that maybe I don't want to make a mistake twice in my life. If I have asked you this, that it self means you are in the closest circles to my heart and you have all means of getting even closer but you back away without giving me an answer and thats too much... Behind my back you smile when your friends make fun of us, thats hurting. I wont mind if anyone says anything if only I knew our stance of it. And I can't figure that with out knowing your mind first...
I have told you already I am not a great believer of love even if you put forward many examples before me. I am even worse with the concept of marriage that runs through the veins of todays society and it troubles me that people can't accept a friendship between a boy and girl as such. I know you are not like that and I want to know your view about this also. I am not disgusted, not of you not of your words but I don't want to call you right now.
Last day was a bit too much for me, for i didn't expect it or atleast so soon and .... today, I just want to know yar, why can't you give me a straight answer?? Or is it that you don't know???

People Who Don't Know Che????

2008-12-13T17:41:00.010+05:30

For someone named after Karl Marx's wife and live in a house named after the steamer in which Che Guevara and Fidel Castro went to cuba it's shocking when someone looks at Ernesto "Che" Guevara ‘s picture and ask who it is, especially when it's an SFI member asking it.

CoA have only SFI unit and eveyone is a member, I guess that’s the problem!!!.. People don't even understand what they are shouting about in the strikes. They don't understand the 'mudravakyangal' or 'abhivadyangal'!! And I learned it the hard way during the film fest. Our film fests had a time filler slideshow with photos of our college, Che, Strikes, Banners etc and on the first day my dear friend who sat near me told me "it must be an Arabic film" when she saw Che’s photo.. I was shocked to see she was serious!! But how??? Then has she not wondered why there is an Arabic Film Actors photo on the banner in front of our class??? I would have forgiven her if she had asked me what "Hasta la victoria siempre" is... but they don't even see it or wonder about it!!

Getting out of the shock the day before film fest ended one of my north indian friends asked my dear malu friends who it is to which they explained thats "'Chaekuvara' the leader of SFI!".. I asked the discoverer of this great truth if she knows the full form of SFI and to think twice about the last part, As she stood there saying 'India' again and again came the next question "angeru ethu nattukarana?" and the answer came at double speed 'Russia'. Unable to get shocked out of my skin so many times one night I told them no he was a Latin American (avoiding details like Rosario and Argentina).... and those darlings told me I am wrong as if they had more authentic data than what I knew like my mothers face from the time I started walking or talking. **sigh**

It's a pity really.... We should conduct awareness classes.... At least to avoid making fun of people like Che or Marx.. that’s too much. For now I even forgive my friend the daughter of a congress Panchayat member for making fun of Che, though I am sure she know nothing of him and her words are merely to hide that. and my extra talkative friend who claims to be a communist and can't go to an exam with out spending half his money as 'kozha' to god in the temple and said Che was born and died in Cuba.**deep sigh**

For someone who has grown up with a strong political stance it's hard to see people so unaware and not at all bothered about politics as if it's only about the elections and rulers!! **deeper sigh**... I am someone who always complained about studying social science at school. But Seriously one has to know the history, sociology and economics of this world to live, to think, to do anything at all, don't they?? At least don't they need something to believe in?? Oh of course the god almighty is there na!! I feel pity for him, how much these so called believers humiliate him!!! (I guess my mates are equally shocked at knowing I don't believe in god. They must be thinking how anyone could live without god!!!)

And all that bothers people at LH is whom I will marry and whether 'njan mamodeesa mungumo' before marriage**deepest sigh**. And how can I explain to them the principles of my life or why the heck I can't marry someone who believe in god and don't even know who Che is... when they don't even understand why you have to convert degree to minute before minusing 56degree 45 minutes from 90 degree!!!

First Look at My College

2008-12-12T23:21:00.008+05:30

Since all my friends had been talking about their campus' so much, why should I back away? First of all let me just tell you Agri College especially COA goes nothing near 100 miles to boring as all you 'manungoosukal' think!! It is the most self sufficient, lively, pulsating, dynamic, motivated, vibrant, sported campus in the globe.. and its the place where for the first time in my life I felt I belong!! To say there is a lot too much, though I was there for only the last 3 months. Anyhow I start at an interesting point today.....

My college is the most beautiful place one can spend 4 years of their life in and Any 'mandoos' who has come through our gate for at least 5 feet knows that's true. And most strikingly it's extremely romantic... The trees asks couples to stand in its shade and talk with hand on its low bend branches, on their way to the others touch; lawns wait for you to sit close together and talk with your minds and through the hands close together and ones head on the others shoulder; The fountains and tall old buildings, like where the princesses of fairytales waited for the arrival of their prince charming. There are even the lake and the well kept orchards and gardens that adds to the mood, and on the functions that lasted through the night the darkness pierced by only decorative lights and music though too loud to figure the words asked for many sins of love!! There your hand will always cry for companionship, lips dry up too soon, heart beet too fast and stomach grumble from last nights dream that lost you your sleep from feeling too receptive by mind and body.

Even so it’s hard to find a companion around there. Proposals had been flying about from the first two weeks itself in my class no wonder all the seniors are committed!! Fast moving society really!! Even the ‘made grumpy’ faces in the union GB are too hard to resist not to mention what goes about during sports and film fest... Here I stop cause I just talked about one of those subjects I avoid the most while writing if I do continue I won't be able to resist the urge to carry on to the 'materialistic love' and 'impossible affairs' and how one can be 'trapped between one you love but whom don't know you and one who loves you but you know not the first thing about'!!!

Food Security In India

2008-11-17T00:00:00.005+05:30

This is my seminar paper on food security (or rather insecurity) in India for the group discussion today at college, responses are welcomed!! Also reminding all rights are reserved to THE GREEN FLAME (that would be me), i.e, ask before copying. That can be helpfull to you also because I can tell you the sites I visited, and where you can find authentic data, news coverage of the topic and more information!

The Food and Agricultural Organisation (FAO) has pointed out in it’s report brought out in 2002 that 24% of Indian population are malnourished and other 1/5th of our population suffers from chronic hunger. However this cannot be taken as a function of under production of food grains. The food security of India cannot be seen in isolation from the global scenario as well.
“Food Security” could be defined as “Reliable availability of sufficient quantity and quality of nutritious food for a population”. In the global scenario also food security is not directly related to worlds food production. In 2007 according to FAO there were record grain harvests. The record yield was 2100 million metric tonnes. If all the cereals grown had been distributed equally across 6.6 billion persons and used as food there would have been no crisis. The cereals alone would have supplied every one amounts of calories and proteins with about 30% left over.
But in reality all over the world it is estimated that about 923 million people are undernourished, 1.4 billion people live in extreme poverty and over 3 billion live in less than 2$s per day. It is in this background we have to look into the reasons of food insecurity.
There is a general perception that the food crisis is a by-product of ever increasing population. But there is no data to substantiate this argument. In fact, over the last 20 years, world food production has risen steadily at over 2% a year, while the rate of global population growth has dropped to 1.14% a year. Population is not outstripping food supply. But the real reason is that people are too poor to buy the food that is available. We're seeing people hungry at greater numbers than before even when there is food on the shelves.
Therefore to we have to look at the reasons for increasing food price by which people are priced out of the market.

One systemic cause for the price rise is held to be the diversion of food crops for other uses. Cereal stock is being diverted in many countries as livestock feed, sweetener (i.e., high-fructose corn syrup), raw material for plastic, and feedstock for fuel in the form of ethanol. An estimated 100 million tons of grain per year are being redirected from food to fuel. As farmers devoted larger parts of their crops to fuel production than in previous years, land and resources available for food production were reduced correspondingly. Filling a tank of an average car with bio fuel, amounts to as much maize (Africa's principal food staple) as an African person consumes in an entire year.
Another reason is the changing food habits i.e. increasing meat eating habits also have a major impact. Seven Kilogram’s of grains are equivalent to one Kilogram of beef.
The rise in the price of oil has heightened the costs of fertilizers the majority of which require petroleum or natural gas to manufacture. Because natural gas can substitute for petroleum in some uses increasing prices for petroleum lead to increasing prices for natural gas, and thus for fertilizer.
Higher prices for liquid fuels from petroleum increase the demand for bio fuels, which may result in diverting some crops from food to energy. This is another way in which increasing petroleum price contributes to the increase in price of food crops.
Speculation and futures trading have also contributed substantially to increase in prices of various essential commodities including food items.
Apart from the economic reasons mentioned above environmental factors leading to reduction in crop production also contribute to the increasing price of food crops. Major environmental factors affecting crop production are drought, heat wave, unseasonal rains, Cyclone and Diseases such as stem rust that cause 100% crop loss.
Large areas of croplands are lost year after year mainly due to soil erosion, water depletion and urbanization. Around 60,000 Sq.km per year of land becomes so severely degraded and becomes wasteland, adding to the crop supply problem.

Though all the points mentioned above are relevant in Indian scenario, inadequacy of public distribution system, exhaustion of buffer stock as a part of globalisation and rapid opening up of the agricultural sector to foreign competition from vastly subsidized food grain from developed countries are the specific issues leading to food crisis in India.
In July 2002 India was at an all time high 63.1 million tonnes of food grain stocks with Food Corporation of India (FCI). This exceeds the requirement for food security by about 20million tonnes, yet above 200 million people go hungry and 50 million are on the brick of starvation. The existence of food stocks above buffer requirements has not translated into availability.
Green Revolution using modern agricultural techniques and high yielding varieties of seeds resulted in a significant difference in regional concentration of food grain outputs. North and north-west of India became the granaries of India where as states like Kerala, Tamilnadu, Karnataka, Assam and Andhra Pradesh concentrated in to cash crop production. In this situation in order to ensure judicious distribution of food grains the government set up administered price system of public procurement and public distribution. This system ensured procurement of food grain at price safe guarding the interest of farmers, distribution of food grains through out the country at regulated price ensuring price control in open market and maintained satisfactory level of buffer stock of food grains ensuring national food security. However the impact of globalisation disrupted smooth operation of the system.
The World Trade Organisation (WTO) agreement on agriculture unfortunately has made developing countries like India more committed to marketisation of agriculture than developed countries like USA which have continued to maintain their high level of agricultural subsidies. This has made agriculture in India less profitable, discouraging farmers from the field resulting in reduction of agricultural production.
The governments of developed countries refuse to eliminate their outrageous agricultural subsidies while imposing their rules of international trade on the rest of the world. Their voracious trans-national corporations set prices, monopolise technologies, impose unfair certification processes on trade, and manipulate distribution channels, sources of financing, trade and supplies for the production of food worldwide. They also control transportation, scientific research, gene banks and the production of fertilisers and pesticides.
The worst of it all is that, if things continue as they are, the crisis will become even more serious. The production and consumption patterns of developed countries are accelerating global climate change, threatening humanity's very existence. These patterns must be changed. The irrational attempt to perpetuate these disastrous forms of consumerism is behind the sinister strategy of transforming grains and cereals into fuels.
Therefore the only way to an end to the food crisis is as the establishment of a peaceful and prosperous world and a just and equitable international order. The right to food is an inalienable human right. Hunger and malnourishment cannot be eradicated through palliatives, nor with symbolic donations which will not satisfy peoples' needs and will not be sustainable.
At the very least, agricultural production in India must first be rebuilt and developed. Sustainable small scale farming based, revitalising traditional models ensuring soil and water conservation and curbing big agri-business that relies on genetically altered strains and chemical pesticides may be promoted. At the same time the public procurement, storage and public distribution system should be strengthened.

Does the need of science validate slaughter?

2008-11-03T18:31:00.006+05:30

Now this is going to seem funny those of you who have already read heading cause I am gonna talk about insect collection here!! As some of you may already know I am a 1st year agriculture student!! Ok... so I have a paper Entomology in the first semester to which I took an instant liking. Our sir in his first class on morphology asked us who all are against collection of insects since that means to kill them. At that time I wasn't sure about it, especially since it was my first class in the college and the best thing was not to stand out.. Also his excuses and explanation was assuring!!But…

Facts are that Insect collection is important for insect conservation itself since conservation with out proper knowledge is not conservation at all and may lead to something that happened in Bhartpur bird sanctury ( they banned grazing just to find the aquatic weeds increase and diminish the bird population.) Also insects are numerous in number and when it comes to the survival of the whole population the ones collected is in significant like a bird having it's meal!! For us a single properly labeled collection is very valuable.. even the botanical nomenclature is based on a specimen in hand.

However doesn't it all seem all together a domineering intervention of man to you?? I mean why are we wanting everything to go through our head??? Why playing gods?? What man has done so far is nothing but taking everything he want and changing things so that it will aid him or give him food or happiness or what ever... Possessive brats.. Nature don't need their conservation... We take over all the land and waters and make other animals' world a natural park or zoo... under our binocular eyes.. Pitiful!! Seriously nature don't need us.. Once we ruin it all and break the equilibrium it's gonna switch to another balance and that one need not have men on earth!!

Just to stress my point let me quote an event that occurred this year.. Two Czech nationals Petr Svacha and Emil Kucera were accused of unauthorized collection of rare insect species from Singhalila National Park and were convicted of their crime by Chief Judicial Magistrate of Darjeeling on 8th September 2008. The CJM announced them guilty of violating both the Indian wildlife protection act and the biological diversity act. (aa check the news links for more)man, Kucera had a site advertising the sale of those insects...**sigh**.. For me there is not even a question whether they are guilty or not!! Who gave man the right to decide who is higher or lower than them. To see people take life with such ease make me sick. In nature taking life for food and self defence is justified and I myself am a non-veg and have nothing against eating fish or chicken but killing for joy is... well I can't justify it. I mean now they kill insects and experiment on rats and rabbits and if that is allowed I don't see why human testing is that big a deal to be prohibited... Why is men so special???

Ok, I realise I am starting to sound stupid to all of you so here I stop!! Chao

Random Page

2008-11-03T17:56:00.004+05:30

I have tried many times to write down the stories that occur in my mind but faced a lengthy list of obscurities starting from language to the persistence and categorization of it. So I decided to just put it down page by page and not to bother about those troubles until I am ready for them, After all it's my blog I can do that right? So tip is to see it as just a set of posts like, well lets just say you walk in to a room for the first time in your life and find some papers scattered on the floor out of curiosity you pick one random page and read it with the slightest idea who it belongs to or what it's about!! Or a sheet blown to you by the wind.. Good luck!!
P.S Don't mind the headings... thats the worst part for me when dealing with this!!! **cheers**

Hierarchy

2008-09-28T11:30:00.003+05:30

It's a pretty complicated term when you think about it... once used to depict the orders of the 3 angels of Eastern Christianity in reference to the ecclesiastical hierarchy, then I used it first when studying classification of biological organisms.. But now I am talking about no theologian but about a hierarchy automatically loaded into all of us, (though I may be better off talking about the biological classifications!!)... that of how we see creatures around us from the differentiation of people by their cast or job to the difference between a butterfly to a cat. It's always weird for me to see people differently because of what ever they were born into or what they do for a living. How people dare to call an elderly man by name just because he does blue-collar work... And how people treat their servants.. I honestly think people should be treated like how they treat their so thought 'inferiors'. IT's a culture we simply learn from our parents and elders automatically, even before you know it, it will have toughened its roots deep into your mind..
Why would anyone ask if you are a Hindu, Christian or Muslim?? Does that make a difference?? Or do you have to know that first to figure what to say to them? I was under the belief that religions and castes don't differentiate the world so much at least now in this century at least not in Kerala where more that 90% have had minimum education. But for the goal of politics and its affiliations of gluttony it's injected into minds deliberately.
Believe in god, any god, pray if you want, go to church or temple,.. there is nothing wrong with it. I very much respect the concepts of god and temples... God is divine for it gives so much hope.. Temple almost essential since societies are built up on its basis. Man is a social animal, there people should know each other, cooperate with each other, help each other and live as one.. And the temple or church is a place for social gathering and unity. But how much it is misused hurts me above all.. What was built to unite is now causing clash between different groups.. Men has to grow their mind and soul to see what was meant by all this.. They should be able to see through the mere groupings to the ultimate light.. They should know god better before they use the almighty for greed or extremism.

How Easy - A short update

2008-09-11T00:52:00.005+05:30

It's surprising how easy it is to talk about feelings than out look on a matter, It should be the other way around right??.. I wrote something about the Text Book Controversy couple of months ago and didn't complete it or pot it where as I keep putting up all this junk about feelings... I should be a psychiatrist... because with my wild imagination with which I created and killed off several imaginary friends at the age I should be playing with my building blocks, I could connect to anything of anyone’s life. (But considering all the films like “Heavenly Creatures” and all…. Such imagination can turn out to be well…. Socially disturbing!!) And I with out fear analyze things as long as they are someone else’s. I guess I was only a science geek basically... I read novels.. I take in ideologies and even politics with utmost interest and integrity still I am all about science and logic than morality and social relations! It's scary... I admired Indu for having strong opinions though I didn't agree with most.. But even when I strongly contradict and put across arguments in science seminars, it's almost scary how I can't have a stronger opinion of things of social value..

PS: Heard about the Large Hadron Collider that was switched on yesterday?? Creepy that its so similar to the plot of Angels and Demons!! Seriously anti matter may be the end product!! End of the WORLD!! So cool!! :D

My Communism

2008-09-03T23:04:00.008+05:30

I have wondered many a time whether the greater good will come, the great world where people and nature could live in harmony and where no one work for only their profit but for the society. Where everyone is equal, where every children is fed and taken care of and where women can walk on the streets with out fear of loosing themselves, for me that is communism- the communism for which I live for.. We can't haste and cause violence, though my heart cry for it and my blood burns for it, I know within that it's foolishness..

The steps taken are small and slow, only they lead to the greater good in a long distance which it's covering at a slugs speed. But my mother assured me it will come, and I believe her for that alone give hope, and reason to live for.. changes like that may take centuries, still they come. It took long to sweap out slavery, today it's common knowledge that it's wrong. As I read in one of my friend's messages "The philosophy of one century is the common sense of the next" The change will come, it's coming. But we can't stop looking for it and more over working for it because it's still far away because only we can pull the rope to get that boat to shore. The time will come but we should not wait bare handed, we ought to work for it. What you sow you will reap!!

I know I will get criticism though in this post I haven't touched even the edges of what it really is, criticisms will come just because I used the word communism [:P]... happens all the time.. So I avoid any talk of political view from my usual conversations. And I am afraid even now that if I reply anyone’s comments on this I may never get to talk to them again. But I stay sternly on my views, if not I will not be me!!

Expression Of Thought

2008-09-03T22:30:00.004+05:30

It seems that all the problems and arguments are because of the similarities and difference in priority. No one does something they think is wrong, and you can't say that their right is wrong though it may appear so to you. Just think about it isn't it only a case of difference in the higherarchy of things that you consider. There is never a confusion between good and wrong, It ensue when there are too goods. Suppose I am designing a grant project for 'the good'. There is the question whether it is good for me, my family, mankind or the nature and environment. From what I see, what is good for the environment and earth need not have mankind drooling all over it. So which good is it that I want??? Here I will define a greater good (Borrowing that word from HP). Many a time terrorism (or at least Maoism) is become right in that consideration. But that’s not an option we recommend is it?? It's wrong morally.

So the best thing to do in this world in order to avoid troubles and to live a peaceful but uneventful life is never to say out loud your thoughts....This is what I have learned from my last 17 yrs in this world. Keeping quiet can avoid many problems..only that way you won’t be able to change much around you. Listening make you tolerant and more understanding.. Just this understanding may do you or anyone else no good after all..But we all live day after day year after year in hope of a better tomorrow-Where all the ’ideals’ are reality.

We have a right to express, our constitution gives us that benefit..but as my mother has told me “You may have the right to swing your arm but that right ends the before it touches another’s nose”. It's simple words but even I can see it have a deeper meaning. Also as I believe you can have the benefits of the law only when you obey it and do our responsibilities with courtesy(I hate it when people say laws were made to be broken..How is that even considerable)!!

There is always a conflict in an understanding person’s life.. The world darkens more as you understand more but maybe just maybe in the finishing point where you look at something but see everything and know and feel everything there will be light..not a light that will make you blink but a light in which everything will be clear.

And about that conflict..When you are to say something, what ever it maybe, It will be affecting others in different ways..Good for one may be the last thing another want to here, there you ought to define your priority, the cause of good.. How much it is necessary and how big the other person’s fist is!!

Sleepless Night!!

2008-08-29T01:44:00.017+05:30

Writing in the light from the next room, on the sides of an already used A4 paper found from beneath the bed to which I was forced to from the computer front where I was reading enthusiastically and in utmost wonder the blog of a friend whom I could find similarities to from the cartoons we used to watch to the views of the world around, and later sneaking in to the computer room( I am just saying so to emphasis my effort, I actually sleep in the so called 'computer room' **wink**) coz I can't sleep without posting this however stupid it may turn out to be, I certainly am trying my level best (or beyond) to keep this blog going!!

At first I thought it was lack of topics to write.. but there are many from money inflation to the fight with my sister. I can write about almost anything at this point.. It seems to be an ability one develops after writing 100s of essays about various things you hear for the first time in the question paper or doing assignments overnight whose topic found out only 5mins ago when you realized it's the last day of submission the next day. It's an ability to get automatically in order to survive through school years. And also the imagination that knows no ends that one inherit when he forget to read the English text the day before the exam is also worth mentioning. Then again what use is going into all the trouble when the teacher give more marks to the one who writes 10 pages out of pure imagination to develop chapters out of the tit-bits he accidentally overheard in the class, in between his engaging conversations and busy cartoon drawings on the side of the borrowed textbook and when near the submission date the records that he complete at the speed unknown to even superman, than the one who according to the teacher out of indifference answered to the point and forgot to mention the beauty and other bluffs od the 'Dona' who's name the 1st heard for the first time in the question itself!!

By the by I should also add it's nobody's fault that they become so reckless in their duties and studies as it sounds...It happens, sometimes gradually and some other times like how I got it out of a bolt from the blue at the peek of sincere and nerdy studies!! +1 and +2 changes you like anything. Only I am not sure if the credit goes to adolescence (which is said to be the problem of the age!!) or the pressure built up on the victims due to the board exams and entrances and the overly scheduled tuitions. At points you feel you wont make it but the beauty of it is that you do, like in a dream where you are lead towards the dreary lights with the threads tied to your limbs and one day you wake up and exclaim the years went past so fast!! It's a survival training - You simply learn to survive anything!!

Believe me, I can even write about how I write long sentences with no proper starting or ending or knowing where it's going and utterly complicate the simplest matters so that by the time you reach half way you will be completely clueless and give me mark on the basis of the handwriting!! **bless me and the thousands learning the survival tactics of life as we speak**

It's Only Words

2008-08-23T23:14:00.000+05:30

I was thinking over lots of things today... It was a confusing day... Well it was a normal day but it confused me a lot :P!! My mother, whom I love a lot and see as my mentor, always tells me not to give out so much personal information.. But what I didn’t understand is what comes under personal information... What is personal??? For me only thing that seem to belong to me is my thoughts in my treacherous mind and I am sharing them here... for what?? It's not for anyone else but myself - for writing things down makes me feel better... Its takes me back to the equilibrium from the highest peak of excitement and happiness or the deepest trench of sadness and fear.

One of my friends has told me like a million times that it's the paper that has more tolerance than anything or anyone you can find and talk to. As it absorbs the ink of the pen it's listening... Only in my case it’s easier for me to type than write... but it’s the same. As in every human’s heart in mine I find this desire to express. I have more than once sneaked in to the computer room late at night because I can’t sleep without saying somethings aloud.

Here when I make a post in my mind I am shouting them out for if I don’t do so they will suffocate me. My feelings are like pillows pushed on to my chest... It’s not always a bad feeling but often it’s suffocating... But here I face some troubles... I hate it that I write always about me and my feelings alone.... I want to tell the world what I feel about lots of things.. But when I write there are so many things missing.. I don’t know these subjects so deeply and it leave a wound in the article as well as me. for it’s incomplete. It’s scares me each time I ask my self about something and the answer that comes out is ‘I don’t know’.

It had always been my biggest fear - lack of knowledge.... my prime weakness.. I am scared of what I don’t know.. May it be ‘what is in the darkness under my bed’ or ‘what defines good’... I say I am these things and I am afraid I don’t know so deep about them..
Still When I post I do my best to avoid ‘I think’ or ‘in my opinion’.... I make statements as if that’s the truth. Words have power on men beyond anything in the world. Knowledge is the key to everything. But man come in to this world incomplete, he live his life incomplete and also die incomplete.... Completion and perfection will make him in my mind the GOD.

Have you read the books of inheritance by Christopher Paolini?? (Eragon and Eldest already out and Brisingr and one more coming out soon).. What he says about ancient language in them has interested me most.... We can’t lie in it.. and if we know someone’s name in the ancient tongue we can have control over them also summoning the elements is only a matter of saying their names for those names in ancient tongue’s not another name for them but the name for them. It’s true isn’t it?? We are driven so much by the media’s affected so much by what people say.... so many ideologies put so well in to words by great people... truth or lie it doesn’t matter but strong words have great effect on people.... And strong words from the foul mouth that lacks knowledge can begin the eradication of civilizations...

Knowledge is a weapon as it seems to me... the greatest weapon of which we haven’t seen the extend of abilities. It’s not classroom knowledge I talk about... It’s the eternal truths that lead this world... And each time I write or just think I cry out for it... for knowledge... A word from the lack of it is the greatest sin to commit. Knowing this I write from the bottom of my heart.. I write what I believe to be true for what is true... And if there comes a time someone could explain things better than I can to me, I will accept them with both hands aloft.. Each time I close my eyes I shall keep my mind wide open for I believe I will find that threads of thoughts that I seek.

Within My Minds Dungeons

2008-08-22T01:47:00.000+05:30

I call my self an atheist, by which I mean to say I am a no believer of god, angels and all the paraphernalia made up by the human mind for getting solace in the hand of faith. And I am suppose to be a person of pure logic by my means of measures but I am afraid sometimes my reason and mentality coincide to build a world full of what I would call magic and mystic I have often found myself trapped in.

It’s a world of some idiotic believes to start with. One being when I am in a situation where there are more than one possibility of how the future may be and I think about one such possibility, It will not come true.

It’s a world where by some sort of wishful thinking I make myself believe the world revolves around me and my mind that knows it all decide upon the varying possibilities. A world where I find explanations for ‘chance’ beyond the possibilities of Permutation.

Some times I feel to be inside my mind will be a pretty tough and fearful adventure for anyone but then by the infamous conflicts from within I suggest it is a possibility thins particular mind may be one of the simplest in the millions in this world.

This was one thing I wanted to change... I have too many conflicting opinions about one thing itself.. Making it more than difficult to come to a decision. But I guess everything has different sides when viewed from different angles.

I am someone who forget the lessons before PHELPS Michael finish a 100m butterfly!! Every vacation I wonder what good was all the studying if I would just forget it in the glimpse of an eye when exams are over. Still I believe I learn one fact or two through the years that pass.. facts that may prove in someway useful in the life that is to come. In that same optimistic mind I hope the years that are to come may show me a way to tangle my problem in coming to an apt decision.
I may not believe in god but some believes out of the boarder of logic or reason is in my life that helps me go through my life with ease.

About A Story

2008-07-02T01:59:00.000+05:30

A story needs a beginning and an end... And in-between lays the plot. The plot is the end of the beginning and the beginning of the end and it truly the wins when it becomes a part of the reader’s life and for that there need at least character that can accurately represent the reader at least at one part of it. Then again even if the stories don’t deal with reality but is something in another dimension or a magical world... it has to be described with crisp details. Of course their are stories that have characters without names and scenes without background but in my opinion it’s not a story that the reader have seen and felt. Then their is always the writers craft. That appears to be the most important one anyway. I may have a story within me.. I may have found myself in it. I may have known it and felt it but I may not be able to write it. And worse even if I write it, it may not be the story I knew!
All stories represent some small fact of life. And one thing about these facts is that it’s true meaning lies in how it is interpreted, and that’s why many a time we find sayings that oppose on another in word meaning. Life is like that. Things that seem true at some part need not remain so for the times that is to come, and ultimately all that’s their to it is living and nothing more. Even if that is so... every one looks for fantasies, there are little descriptions of the day to day life of an average person. No one really cares to see someone waking up everyday having breakfast, going to office, the coming back tiered, going to bed after dinner, and repeat the same the next day. I am not saying life is that dull... life is not quiet like that.. Not at all if you think about it.. No two days are the same as long as there is some kind of interaction... some kind of bonding.. It’s the small details that makes life better.. But that’s not enough for a story...Life becomes good enough for a story line when the main character is special.. When something big happens.. Or when something big is going to happen! In a story one don’t have to look for small details to make it sweet and cool but THAT is quiet evident!So it seems and Life however like a game of solitaire where any moment that doesn’t lead to the next is the wrong one. In a story just like in life each word written or told must have some validation and that’s it’s meaning in the story. More the meaningless words that’s said... More the chapters that have nothing for the reader to ponder the story become trash!! Each word should have three meanings, one the word meaning, second the meaning of it in the plot and third the meaning of it in the readers life. An ideal story has a mysterious power not only to move the reader but to change him.

Handpicked From the Minds Dumps

2008-06-13T01:00:00.000+05:30

I was just in the bed and I was wondering why I couldn’t sleep. and for the 3rd or 4th time I left the bed tonight... thinking I want to get hold of a scribbling pad and scribble.. Like when I was in 3rd standard when we used to play ‘office’ by scribbling something on long pages with holes on sides.. A language not at all eligible for reading let alone understanding... With so many ups and downs and dots here and there... It struck me years after one dump day like this that we were actually mimicking running hand of English back then in those scribbles.. at a time I had only knew a b c’s. It’s funny that it take me years to realise something. It is always there in my mind only it don’t strike me so fast.. I don’t realise it as such fast....And finally when I do realise it I get this funny feeling. A mixture of happiness and stupidity. ‘Am I that stupid... it was in front of me so long.. I should have just looked.’ It may be a worthless information.. But the realisation of it some how make me think it’s a 100 rupee note that was lying on my way which I just saw and picked up.. Though I failed to notice it many a time when I passed through before. But lucky for me or the opposite.. no one else could find it, it was and remains to this moment a road I alone travel. Something like what they call the memory line... To think I still don’t know the actual running hand!! I still put in hand picked letters from a heap of those in my head in to the paper as I write.. Some think it’s a very good hand writing.. but I was always disappointed as it’s not because it’s pretty but because I couldn’t do running letters that I wrote like that .. And that was one of the things that made me jealous of others... I always thought true victory is when you don’t show off instead do something small but adequate when you could have done the incredible...In effect you win the battle but lose the match.

Emotion – logic =Faith

2008-05-13T02:15:00.000+05:30

The keyboard and the computer screen were kind to me all these years, though they gave up at power cuts....I guess they forgave me for accusing them of trying to kill me after dark, 10 years ago. Really.. I was afraid to go to the computer room at night ... I was afraid the viruses will catch me of course I was in the second standard then... Must have been the movie, with a virus killing all the people in the contact list of some person going through the phone lines and electric lines.. Creepy really. What top do, English horror movies were my fathers selection for family outings. I miss those outings.
Wondering what this crazy girl is doing up so late listening to soft music typing crap on the pc?? I was watching ‘The Namesake’ (film) till now. I liked it.. not a new thing really I love almost all the films I have watched till now, guess I am not so selective after all, guess I don’t have any opinion about that either. It’s strange I don’t, why? Do I find it not worthy to have an opinion on?.. May be I do. Nowadays I don’t find much of anything worthy enough for me to have an opinion about. Life it self seems quiet meaningless. Let alone marriage or feelings.
Tell me how could there be a meaning when everyone is living only to live more?? What’s this deal about living?? My studies, my reading all lead me to an utter confusion... I learn about other animals, their life and when I see people I see some other animals trying so hard to be different from others.. but how ever hard they try they are just like all others. It’s strange, the automobile, telephones, electricity, clothing everything is meaning less before my eyes. Man made things and everything man does is imperfect... I am in some urge to find perfection.. I think too much and I feel I am loosing my mind.... then I wonder do other animals go mad too?? When they do what do they do??
Do you know what Namesake means?? It means Naming after another.. Like saying for the name’s sake or something. Do you know who I was named after?? Jenny von Westphalen, Karl Marx’s wife, like my sister being named after Winnie Madikizela-Mandela and our house after Granma, the yacht that was used to transport the fighters of the Cuban Revolution from Mexico to Cuba in 1956 for the purpose of overthrowing the regime of Fulgencio Batista... That brings me to one opinion on which I stand strong from as far as my memory can take me, communism. I was a communist from my childhood to where I stand now, I have even converted one of my friends when I was in 4th standard.
For me communism is the goodness in people. Though I feel to just bomb out evil from earth.. I do realise that I am no one to decide who is good or bad. What would be my priorities?? There is goodness and evil in every person. No one is an angel or demon.... There is no one in the world who have not done a good deed at least in hope of gods mercy or a seat in heaven.. or haven’t been mislead by their emotions, and done sin at moments when driven out of logic.
There is nothing to be found when looking at people individually. No one is alike.. Everyone got their own problems and millions of reasons and explanations for everything. Everyone is different you can never get to a conclusion. Widen your eyes, to look further, have a vast view... find something that’s universal.. And then looking at each and everyone you see even in the smallest particle of the atom you see that truth.
It’s that truth that all have been looking for all these decades... Its answers everyone was searching for. AND that is exactly what no one could find. Some gave up.. Some died trying... and some simply disbanded themselves in to the temporary comforts of life... They called it responsibilities, they lived to live and make a life for their children... leaving behind another confused generation to follow their path they also left the world.
Sometimes I sit remembering thing that was never my memories. Green fields and blue lakes... big families... so many games.. The perfume of flowers.. And the taste of fruits and pickles.. The wonder and excitement of being a child.. Marriages at such young ages... Everything had it’s drawbacks.. everything.. nothing is perfect other than the mango trees and the lakes!! Man hadn’t haven’t found that perfection at least not till now. May be when he find it he will die... he has to when he find it there will be the realisation that life is meaning less.. or would it be the opposite would the truth prove to us why we are blessed/ cursed with this miracle of life.
Life is one strange thing. I am no vegetarian, I am some one who like nonveg with everything still I can’t bear to see something alive for one moment then get it killed and roasted to munch on. I know that period is there before every butter chicken or fish fry... still for the sake of the taste I forget it for the time being.. Possessive of me I know. But possessiveness has always been a part of life and that is not only for me.
There are lots of things that we just ignore or skip for our own convenience of life. It reminds me the hierarchy in the taxonomical classification. Seriously both blend in very well. We may care for another human beings feeling.. Humanity we call it. We may care for our pets wellbeing... we may even shed tears for the stray dog which was hit by the bus.. But the amount of compassion decreases and it’s almost nil when it comes to an ant or a moss plant. Even butterflies are not so much of a bother for us ...aesthetic value.. Is it what we give them??
Sometimes when I am very much concentrated on something be it a song or a book.. I feel the voices of my near and dear... Calling me.. For a second I keen my ears to see if they are actually calling... a speck of concern or some other mixture of feelings... You feel it irritating?? But just think of your head being devoid of those voices... how lonely that could be to know there is no one to call you.. What is these voices?? What is this memoris that you keep in your mind like treasured photos in an album??Love is another utter confusing thing. But currently for the sake of myown personal confusions I leave it for another time. But Just one more totally unrealated idiotic thing!! I saw it on tv and found it interesting:- Emotions – logic =Faith

2008-04-23T18:50:00.001+05:30

“ THE PHILOSOPHERS HAVE ONLY
INTERPRETED THE WORLD IN
VARIOUS WAYS - THE POINT
HOWEVER IS TO CHANGE IT ”

Definitions

2008-04-09T21:08:00.000+05:30

I have been trying for years now to put down all my dreams thoughts and feelings, maybe like a story and well on the course of it finding new meanings of my life itself. Life was crazy, every day I find a new definition for it. The main theme or core of it changes every time I look at it... It was like a corridor with so many doors which no one could count or number.. Through which we have already gone through which we have to go and through which we want to go... no one could tell...

Life, Is it like beyond definitions I wondered?? It couldn’t be... It just has so many, only it doesn’t have people to select the perfect one like yahoo answers have!! For me I feel so mighty of my self that last day I even defined God!! God is nothing but Goodness... and for once I found that answer very adequate!!

Today was not the best of my days and may be that’s why there have been so many cutting pasting and deleting during this post... And maybe it’s not so bad a thing... now that it’s short someone like me can read it enthusiastically after seeing all the bulky texts.

Right and Best

2008-03-28T21:17:00.000+05:30

The right thing to say and the best thing to say may not coincide with each other unless of course your perception of what is best is, the right thing over what gets you popularity or rise the mood of the group. And may be when it happens that is when the best thing to say is the right thing it self it will become the perfect thing.
And if that makes any sense to you other than confusion that may fill you now as the life does you may simply read further.
Life was never a pretty place to live. If it was why would there ever be the idea of another heaven?? They say, we say we make heaven and hell in this world and think by saying that we have just reached the Everest top of knowledge and wisdom.. but then again I ask you is this ‘making’ voluntary or involuntary. What is well and best and ideal in life?? What is heaven...? Does nurturing a child with the best and right things and him having no problems at all make things better or just say one with in all his troubles making jokes and making others laugh and having a good time make it heaven?? Is it like Laughing with all the pain locked in the dungeons of the heart?? Or sinking your pain in drugs and alcohol the right thing or the best thing?? Are problems of life just the thing making your life hell??
I tell you there is no heaven there can’t be... it’s not because I don’t believe in god or after life but because Perceptions differ... If for one person heaven is being able to watch sports or weather channel all day long with un restricted supply of food and drink with out worries about health, money or family, it’s sleeping all night for another. Then again for someone else it will be complete collection of Shakespeare in front just for them, or a train through evolution. What ever that may be mine will be to forget everything that’s happening in the shortest possible time. What would god do choose from everyone’s thoughts and make one heaven or well lock them up in their own dreams??
Everything in life is either a bait or a door of cowardly escape, where as all the so called goodness is a bait and fainting, suicide, madness and forgetfulness a medium of escape.I once called life a journey from bad to worse. But now I think again because the worse thing couldn’t have been so before the bad??? I mean it’s all a matter of time, environment and memory. Things that had an effect on you now this instant couldn’t have given you that in the exactly same way at a time before or after that. Let me see I will compare life now with a large open bracket like in the problem to check continuity. Yes I think life it a big limit defined by multiple statements. And the continuity of it still in question.

Overlooking The Past

2008-03-17T14:12:00.000+05:30

To forget is a divine souvenir of the long terms of life.... To remember is a pain that Pearce your heart... Even the happiest times give you pain once remembered after a large episode of time...“Why did I ever forget...?” Ruining your days and you just wish:” why did I ever remember.” You look around one day and think oh, all these people around me how much they influence me and what wonderful rolls they play in my life... You talk and Laugh and make a life out of your relationships. You feel... just look how many good friends I have then time pass you go in different ways first two months or say one year you keep in touch then the frequency of phone calls come down the letter box remain empty... Even the fwd messages in the cell simply stop then one day when you are in the busy current of life you will look around and see only feet moving fast and faces racing through and feel oh all these people how little they mean to me and how far they are from me... You go home open the cupboard where you keep your old things... Cards with loving words and papers in which you played bingo and tic-tac-toe... You open your email and recover the chat archives and old mails and drafts. Things never said and done linger to your heart... And then you remember ... and cry out of the happiest times... You remember and now try to forget. That’s life, where you try to enjoy yet taken aback due to responsibilities you think I will have time for fun later but circumstances never change then some day you remember the times that went and try to just forget... It’s the cycle of memories and forgetfulness that leads us forward from today to tomorrow and then to the next day... You try to make your heart ready not to stop, not even a second, and just race past like everyone... You have things to do and have no times to remember.

COME COME WHOLE SALE OF TEARS HERE HERE

2008-03-01T23:35:00.001+05:30

"You ask for one thing and God give you another"

"Death of a loved one leaves a deep void in your life it self, you look around to fill it with something and find nothing good enough."

Mind is a strange artefact. A second ago it will tell you ‘any minute now’ and when it does happen it will play startled!! You started crying uncontrollably and convince yourself it was unexpected. On the afternoon of the day when your board exam start, and the second exam only a few days apart you find out your grandmother from mothers side just passed away. You try to sing your self to sleep and when you can’t you try to lock yourself up in the bathroom running away from your fathers mother with whom you sleep and who is watching you closely like you are going to jump in to the well next and your father who keep patting you as if you are same as the dog, and your sister who in between all this still finding solace in her mobile phone. In the bathroom you wash your face and convince yourself you weren’t so close to her anyway and you come out to see your mother in tears and there goes.

Amusing, really how blood relations work... What all you think so far are just select all and delete!! Death of a loved one leaves a deep void in your life it self, you look around to fill it with something and find nothing good enough. Near and Dear they say,.. Only it takes ones demise for you to find how near you were by hearts though you were miles apart and how dear they were to you though you wanted to run away from their affection before. You think yet that it’s a good thing she went now... it would only have been torture even if she stayed long... but still you cry asking 'why now'??

You look around for a shoulder to cry on and not find one with out a crying face near by, you call your friend for consolation not thinking twice about the time on the clock.... at 11.00pm and yet you find him up, studying. He ask you what’s up, irrespective of how close he is still you think whether or not to tell. Before a stable decision words just flow out and tears follow, as if tuned in side as instinct ‘you have to cry when a relative die... you have to sob when you talk about death and you have to tell everyone about it and let them know you are suffering, let them be more compassionate to you or just let them suffer too....’

Stupid, stupid, stupid... don’t know from where but all these irritation come to you.. as you ring up your fathers sister for your grandma, and listen to them talk that her return has to be postponed... you feel why can’t she just go... what good is she doing by staying you gnash your teeth at the flight in which she was to leave but was cancelled. More responsibilities... She is old and feeble she do no good.. blah blah blah... you think up in your mind all that you shouldn’t have... Then as you listen to your friend who tells you not to get too emotional that you still have exams to write and you have to study, a part of your heart tells your self its right but your tears over power you to hang up. Then you open the text look at the sentences and see no words... Read the words and grasp no letters, Gaze at the letters and you mind just wander about to the next room where your mother is still sobbing.

You open your orkut account and update your name and display image... well that’s the best you can do!! People die everyday, every where... there is no one who has not known the feeling of loss still it’s a strange time and you have no idea what exactly is to be done. You try to cover it up by technical terms or poetic usages and some one like me some where who is well known for doing strange things at strange times will drink a bottle full of pepsy and try to drown it in pesticide chemicals and think about nothing but globalisation and how you hate America.
Life is meaningless it always was and is... A moment you think ha, the exam wasn’t so bad and tomorrow onwards I will start studying for the next and everything will be fine.. you smile and laugh and have a gala time with old friends, think life is not so bad and that life may not so be ‘a journey from bad to worse’ and though sometimes you write suicide letters it’s not so bad and there is joy and then suddenly a new picture come up of a funeral planned on the day before the exam.

You sit awake at midnight of the 1st day of a month unable to call anyone as it will be a nuisance keeping inside all there is...and read this stupid writing and realise oh good heavens did I not write this only a minute ago, locking my self in the computer room with the physics text in front of me and understand the you is no one else but me and ask the god you never knew ‘why’? A meaningless question!! But this time it was not why now but why didn’t you take me!! You ask for your death so much... then you are treated with this.. I guess after all if there IS a god he is good with this business he hits jackpot with what he do... giving the taste of my own medicine... awesome really... I praise you god ... for what you gave me today and what you took from me. I guess you know what to do, at least you!!

Derelict

2008-02-10T20:30:00.000+05:30

Life was a desert... but I found joy there. I enjoyed the extremes, Heat of the day and chill of night. I made friends with the prickly plants... I thought of them as my friends... I found similarities with them in my imaginations. I made stories for us to fit in. I hugged on to them. The spines pierced my flesh but I knew not the pain I was ignorant of such a feeling. Fear and pain were anonymous to me. Those were times of joy when I could just look out and see me and my friends running around having the fun of life... worries that affected only us were despair which we could overcome with just our love. But the reality was compelled in to my head , it’s hand separated me from the hold of my friends and then the spines ... They started to hurt as each was taken out leaving scars that seemed not to clot ever in life. Each time I was alone I tried to heal then with new spines prickling in to the old wounds but the sense that was imposed repelled it away and it hurt. I cried out in the darkness.. I was my own enemy but it was too late for any understanding. The pain took over my ability of reasoning the tears blinded me... The fear limbed me... I crawled to the light that seemed just around the corner but it was moving away from me. I lied on the hot sand.... not even mirages greeted me there. Life was empty... derelict.

A True Teacher!!

2008-02-10T09:56:00.000+05:30

I read in some forwarded message regarding school "remember to take fruits and food to the creatures in the staff room". Very good indicator of the deteriorating relationship between the students and teachers. I am not going to compare the past and present or give a lecture about the Guru Kula scheme here though. I am here with a different Idea. Since my ambition it self is to become a teacher in future I find it very relevant.A true teacher or an Ideal teacher... To me it is some one who opens the window to the outside world, to reality. A teacher shouldn't just come to the class shout at the students for half the class read something’s from text give home work and walk out! Though this is what is happening today THIS certainly is not teaching!! A teacher need not even bring a text or note to the class.... its all about the ability to communicate with words and figures. A chalk piece and a flexible tongue and knowledge of the right thing in the right way are all one need to be a teacher!!A teacher need the ability to introduce a new idea, give a proper explanation, that will cling on to the students mind and help him recall it easily and conclude in a healthy manner. Let’s evaluate each

step.1. The introduction.

it can be with a question. Suppose it's about trees. The teacher can ask have you ever planted a tree?? And yes or no what ever be the answer he or she can precede. The question is just to get attention. I remember my class on 'daffodils'(poem) to the 9th standard students on the teacher’s day. I asked them their favorite flower... One said roses; i commented aah romance and love!! Another jasmine, the beautiful smell.. Then I told them mine is Daffodils and showed them a photo of the flowers... Surely none had seen one really so the photo was interesting to them!! Anyway the question should get the attention of students, they should want to hear what the teacher is about to tell them! It’s even better if they feel you are just talking to them than taking a lesson.

2. Explanation.

It is the next step, lets get back to the trees. You can draw a big tree on the blackboard and ask the students for the used of trees, and represent each with an arrow on the same figure. Don’t' have an impression I am talking about primary classes alone this is effective even in higher classes if you are talking about genetics or biotechnology just writing the main terms as a flow chart in a form for the students to take down and study and remember easily is effective. You can explain each term as it come up or write all down and explain one by one. But I prefer the first, and if one can find a way to connect from one to the next it will be the most effective. For instance we are talking about dna finger printing means the historical steps of the methods can be connected by the advantage and drawbacks of each and how they were taken care of!! Pictures are always more effective with kids.. Easier to grasp and get to an understanding. It can be just simple and rough diagrams, giving chance for the imagination of the small mind. It is in this step that a teacher earns the respect form their subjects. A chance to show off!! But for that we shouldn't be afraid of doubts, but that is possible only when you actually know that subject.. So one should learn and plan the class ahead. It is so true that you learn more on teaching another than sitting and reading and trying to muck up.

3. Conclusion.

A crucial step. After recovering form all the doubts we come to this point with time very little before the bell too. It is better to conclude with an idea of the situation in day to day life. Like the hazards of deforestation or use of DNA figure printing. And in the end you can tell them to do something themselves. Get some paper cuttings, or read the poem in the text, or write about their favorites.And that’s the end of the class.

Two main things in between are time management and keeping the vigor and passion through out. But that’s the ability of the teacher. The teacher must allow the children to grow wings and fly out through the window to feel the subjects to see, smell, hear, touch and taste them, and never to forget!! And all this time the teacher must stay with them as a guide and a companion!! And that’s a true teacher.Then there are some tips of getting the acceptance, but that is student psychology and social working**wink**.. Later perhaps!!

25 things to save earth

2007-07-17T20:13:00.001+05:30

Turn off lights & other electric things, like TVs, stereos, and radios when not in use.
Use rechargeable batteries.
Do things manually instead of electrically, like open cans by hand.
Use fans instead of air conditioners.
In winter, wear a sweater instead of turning up your thermostat.
Insulate your home so you won't be cold in winter.
Use less hot water.
Whenever possible, use a bus or subway, or ride your bike or walk.
Try to buy organic fruits and vegetables if you're concerned about pesticides. (Organic food is grown without man-made fertilizers and/or pesticides).
Don't waste products made from forest materials.
Use recycled paper and/or recycle it. Reuse old papers.
Don't buy products that may have been made at the expense of the rainforest.
Support products that are harvested from the rainforest but have not cut down trees to get it.
Plant trees, espessially if you have cut one down.
Get other people to help you in your cause. Make and/or join an organization.
Avoid products that are used once, and then thrown away.
Buy products with little or no packaging.
Encourage your grocery store sell environmentally friendly cloth bags for people to use.hen they shop, or bring your own.
REDUCE, REFUSE, REUSE, & RECYCLE.
Compost.
Buy recycled products.
Don't buy pets taken from the wild.
If you have a good zoo nearby, (if the animals are healthy and the zoo takes care of them), support it! Espessially if they help breed endangered animals.
Don't buy products if animals were killed to make it.
Cut up your six-pack rings before throwing them out.

Paul Lafargue's suicide note

2007-05-19T11:34:00.000+05:30

Jenny Laura Marx was the second daughter of Karl Marx and Jenny von Westphalen. She was born in London in 26 September 1845 & she married to Paul Lafargue,a young French socialist who came to London in 1866 to work for the First International, in 1868. The two committed suicide together on 26 November 1911......
This was their last note to the world..

"Healthy of body and spirit, I give me death before the implacable old age, that has stealed me one after the other all pleasures and joys of existence, and has expoiled me from my physical and intellectual strength, paralizes my energy and ends with my willpower, making me a burden for myself and others.
Since years ago I have promised myself not to surpass the age of seventy; I have fixed the season for my departure from this life and prepared the means to execute this decision: a hypodermic injection of cyanhydric acid.
I die with the supreme happiness of having the certainty that very soon will triumph the cause to which I have given myself since 45 years ago.
Long live Communism! Long live the International"

Lal salam sakhakkale

Fisher Women

2007-04-05T22:19:00.000+05:30

They smile charmingly and call us all the sweet things they can find just to get us to buy the fish they got and they also quarrel like street dogs among themselves...But it's all for a living.
They seem to me the most elapsed & unfortunate in the society, malnourished, underprivileged and treated faultily. Avoided by the people and the government? Well there may be schemes to help the fisher society but can they prevent the fisher women facing mugging by there husbands themselves??
They work all day hard... Laugh and entertain cry and squabble and coming back home they get the most brutal treatment.... do they deserve it?? All the money whipped by their husbands to drink and find entertainment.
They live an unstable life. A Chakara can give them the best fortune of all and a Tsunami can end everything for them. They don’t save up. Well even if they could have that is. Because any moment it can all come to a halt. When they have money they live lavishly and when they don’t they live for that....and gossiping and quarrels are a part of it. And in the middle of all this raped by their landlords or goons. Women are always an engaging piece of equipment now a days na??
You may all have gone to the marketplace to buy fish or something else and certainly have seen them but have you ever bothered to think about their lives between your complaining thoughts about their uncivilized behavior??

Govt. School of a developing Nation

2007-04-04T17:33:00.003+05:30

Even I had many dreams of that school but now I am afraid to call it ours.I had studied from 5th to 10th in a reputed Government School in india, but a year after passing out my thoughts about that school are like this,It has changed beyond recognition with the year that passed. So many changes but none seem to have made it a better place. The changes are kind of scary, a disaster. It’s has turned into a wreck and it’s no longer anything like how we saw, felt or dreamt of!, It no longer feels like home.

May be I am just exaggerating. Weeping over what is lost and menacing over what I can’t have. But this can’t be it is to bring us memories of the 6 long and exquisite years that we had there but now.....it’s a broken dream.

My friend said it has turned into what it is known outside a govt. school where all the good for nothing pupil go??
But that’s not true. That cannot be. I learned much there than anywhere else I had ever been in my short life. I may still lack experience to talk of life right now but I know enough to say that. I learned to share, to work as a group, to lead and to be lead, to respect and gain respect, to silence and to be silent, I learned to laugh and cry from there, I learned of friendship and love. I learned to live from there.

If you ask me if you are a parent and want your child to grow up to be a good person...

well if you want your child to grow up as an IAS officer who knows only the text books he learned and nothing of the people he rule over, or a doctor who treat his patients only for the sake of money or even a teacher who don’t care how the students turn up- someone who will ask why the people are crying for bread to eat can’t they eat cake- I have nothing to say to you.

But if and only if you want your son or daughter, not to live in an ideal word but to make a world where everyone gets to eat and drink and to live a life which is not poverty stricken and every child can live with their parents without having to worry about loosing their body and life every second they look into other people’s eyes, send them to a govt.school.

it’s not a place for unwanted but it’s place where common people send their childern to. It is the maximum the working class can afford but they don't send their children to learn to fall in love with the eveteasers in the road side and to call the joblessfools who give them their number, to go to some desrted place when they call and to end up with their baby in your tummy, they send them there because they want their children to study and be someone better than themselves.

The children there may not be able to give toffie for their b’day or even to were a new dress that special day but they know to learn and to understand and they do that with their full heart because they know that it’s the only solution they have before themselves to gain themselves and their family a better life. They don’t just have education they need it and they gain the knowledge they study not because they parents have send them their as they are bored playing with the dolls and bossing over the servants and that the teacher is teaching , they don’t learn for somebody else’s sake they do it because they want to because they need it! They are afraid of the exam and tense about the marks not because their father will not bye them new toys but because they know if they fail it will hurt their parents much and because their life hangs to it.

There are students who go to school because they will get food for one time if they do. There are students who have to depend on their friends to pay their fee and even give them something to eat. We live in a world not of wealth and prosperity not of technology and development alone. One should know how people are living in his nation what they are going through if he is to be able to lead them or work for their good or just to live with them. One should know if your are to say that your child will be a good person who will give all his time to the poor and suffering but he just need to study in an English school to get to the power where he can do that all ok may be it’s possible but If you are isolating that child form the real world sendind him to the school and back in the A/C car and sending him for tutions for all the spare times. letting him play with only th high class friends. oh plaese how is it goign to worrk out all that child know is to ask for treat andgive treat. He may know of world wars & globalisation but will he ever be able to tell a civilian about it in a way the illiterate understands will his textbook knowledge alone help him to takle to problems of his place?? I don’t know..well will he be reaby to study and act or just do favours to win the next election too??

Name and fame has drunk man’s head. wealth and women is weakpoints? One is not humiliated to tell that he killed his college or raped his’d friends daughter. Shameless possesive cratures- man is the greatest danger to this world now. he dosen’t know reality he don’t bother to learn.Girls know only to be princesess to give tea parties to envy the beauty of the models in channels thinking them to be life and houling for US or UK. Thinking high of their society and lecturies but...... the common men there are in the same trap...and no one even sees them ..Only the embroidary and decorations of artificial beauty and ideas of beeing sexy is all the the children whatch and learn. who cares about the news channel next to it where there are showing ratial calamitied where bombs are thrown and hudreds are beign killed ..Great leaders of the world cheated or traped and treated like pests and killed without questioning......Where is this world going???And nobody cares or knows.

It is said that child is the father of man and children are the wealth of the socity i beg you let them know the reality let them see a govt. school and know that there are many who are not fortunate enough as they are before asking for another toy.